Not Forever
by BeautyFiend
Summary: Jay cheated on Alex. What happens when he wants her back? will she be willing to forgive? or will her pride override her heart...please read. and review.
1. Memories

Hey guys…this is my new story…I know I haven't updated some of my others but I'm working on it. And please, please review. Thanks a bunch

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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Alex's Point Of View

"shit, shit, shit, shit, shit" I said to myself over and over again. I looked down at the pregnancy test. The little thing said that I was pregnant. But I couldn't be, we used protection. And now of all times now? Right after I find out that he was cheating on me with my best friend all for some stupid bracelet. For some stupid bracelet that she wanted to show off, well I hope to her it was worth seeing me hurting inside. The thought of seeing her and jay having sex still sickens me. I can't believe that the two people I trusted most would do that to me. And they know the shit I have to deal with at home. But do they care? No they don't, their so god damn selfish.

Amy had been my best friend ever since we were in around grade 2 and everyone was making fun of her because she had a gap in her teeth. They would pick on her like there was no tomorrow. But who stood up for her? That's right I did. I told anyone that dared to make fun of her would be feeling some real pain and I was telling the truth. I didn't like seeing this little girl crying, even though we were the same age I felt protective of her. I don't know why though but ever since then me and Amy had always been together, she was there for me and I was there for her. She was one of the only people I told everything to, she knew how it was at my house so on the weekends I would usually spend the night at her house to get away from it.

Jay and I first met in grade 8. I had a little bit of a crush on him, we were friends at first but we started dating once he told this guy that was bothering me to go out with him that if he didn't leave me alone he would regret it. After that we realized we were perfect for each other. Jay fought any guy that would come near me or say something to me. And I would fuck up any girl that dared hit on jay. He was mine and I wanted to keep it that way. At least I did until this year. I remember all our late night calls to each other because our parents were either trashed or high as hell when they came home. He was the only person I ever cried in front of when my mom was admitted to the hospital because of my step-dad.

How could I have been so careless? I should have known that no guy could be trusted. And they wonder why I hate people so much or why I can be the biggest bitch ever?

(Jay's point of view)

Man I really fucked up. I lost the girl I loved the most. Over some stupid shit, I can't believe I cheated on her. Sure I had done it a bunch of times but I didn't think she would find out. But when she did the hurt in her eyes was just to much for me. I had sworn to her that I would never let anyone hurt her. Yet I'm the one that did this time. She was the only girl that I had ever told everything too. We weren't like the rest of these pathetic couples in the school, we understood each other we didn't need to that whole romantic type relationship.

I still remember beating that shit out of the kid that had tried to get with her after she told him no. I just flipped. From that moment on I knew that I loved her. She was always there for me, when mom and dad came home drunk off their asses I called her first. And she would calm me down, but I lost all that.

I lost it for what? For a couple sluts who would give me a blow job. Even though me and Alex had sex, I still had the need to be with other people. It made me feel needed, or rather wanted. But none of those girls were there for me after that. They were just a quick fuck. She was the only girl who was always there for me.

(Alex's point of view)

I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. What am I going to do? Mom is going to kick me out, I know she will. And if she doesn't then my wonderful step-dad will make sure that she does. The jackass controls her whole life. I don't see how she does it, she just sits back and lets him hit her. But I can't really say anything…on occasions when he gets pissed off at me he'll hit me too. I've never told anyone about that though. If I would have told Jay he would have come right over and beat the shit out of him and I really didn't need that.

I'm sitting in the bathroom just crying my eyes out. I hear mom knock on the door saying someone's here for me. I just tell her to tell them to go to hell and leave me alone. She just says that they said they really needed to see me. I told her I'd be out in a minute and to tell them to wait in my room. After wiping some of my smeared eyeliner off and reapplying some I head into my room. I was shocked as hell to see who it was sitting there on my bed.

(Jay's point of view)

I don't know what I'm doing here. I know she doesn't want to see me. I could see why. After all the shit I did to her, hell I wouldn't want to see me either. But I still came. I'm sitting on her bed waiting for her to come in. my hearts racing and I don't know what to say or do. I don't think I've ever been this nervous before in my life. What do I say? How can I make her forgive me?

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Well there it is. The first chapter. Please tell me what you think. I don't care what you have to say. Just tell me something to make it better. Thanks.

-Taryn


	2. Morning Sickness And Questions arise

Hey. Here's another chapter. I hope you guys enjoy…and remember I like reviews…thanks…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

(Jay's Point Of View)

The look on her face when she saw me was unforgettable. It was a mixture of anger, hate, hurt, and surprise. She just looked at me and I actually felt it inside.

"Jay what the hell do you want?" I hear her voice crack when she says it and it makes my heart sink even lower than it already is. All I have to do is tell her I'm sorry. That's all I came to say.

"Alex. Please give me two minutes of your time?" The look on her face was that of a "no way in hell" response. "please?" oh god I've resorted to begging. Maybe if she sees me beg she'll rethink her answer.

"Fine" From the sound of her voice I can tell she doesn't even want to hear my voice, let alone see me in her room.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I didn't mean to hurt you. It just sort of happened. I wish I could take it back. Lexxi I love you." Her face is emotionless, I don't know whether to take that as a good or bad sign. After a minute of, I guess, her thinking she spoke.

"Your Sorry. Your Sorry. What is that suppose to make it all better? And only people who are friends or boyfriends can call me Lexxi and trust me you don't qualify as either. Fuck you…you think that you can just come in here saying your sorry and think I'll forgive you? If you honestly think that than you don't know me at all" her voice was so full of rage, and I was the reason. I hate myself for putting her through this, I hate myself for doing all the stupid shit I did. Why do I have to be such a dumb ass?

(Alex's point of view)

He's sorry? He's fucking sorry? That isn't going to make shit better. He can tell that I'm mad and upset but he can't do anything about it because he's the reason behind it. "Get out." I say not looking him in the eye.

"Alex please" he starts to say but I cut him off before he can get any of it out. The jackass actually thinks I'm going to let him talk to me anymore.

"I said get the hell out of my fucking room" I move onto the bed laying down. Not looking up when I hear the door slam shut. It wasn't till then that I let the tears fall freely. I have to tell him. He has a right to know that he got me pregnant. But imagine how pissed off he would be if I hid if from him…this could be good. I'm going to put him through as much shit as he put me.

But I have to hide this from my parents too. Crap!!!!!! I run into the bathroom but I'm too late. I see mom holding up my pregnancy test. Her mouth was hanging down. I feel the tears streaming down my face but I do nothing to stop them. She just looks at me and knows that it's mine. "Alex" was all she said before she embraced me in a big hug. She knew what it was like to be a pregnant teen, seeing as to the fact that she had me when she was fifteen.

"mom…you can't tell Chad" I say, referring to my step-dad. "he'll kick me out…or worse"

"Alex baby he will eventually find out. But I will not tell him until it's necessary" Mom was still hugging me just stroking my hair. We heard Chad come in and slam the front door shut, he's pissed. Mom tells me to hide the pregnancy test and to not interfere if her and Chad get into a fight, she didn't want me to hurt the baby. I nod and go into my room. I hear him throw her against the wall and it takes all my strength not to go out there and beat the shit out of the bastard myself.

I lay down in bed that night and cry myself to sleep. Nothing is going how I had planned. Me and Jay were suppose to still be together. I wasn't suppose to be pregnant and I wasn't suppose to be laying in bed listening to my mother cry because of my step-dad. I eventually drifted into a deep sleep. I woke up the next morning with red puffy eyes. Shit everyone was going to figure out I was crying. But people could probably guess why. After I quickly get dressed I start my walk to school…no more rides from Jay.

By the time I get there people are just starting to walk into the building. Wow for once I'm actually early. Maybe this day won't be so bad. And no more partying for me. I'm putting this baby first, I will not, I repeat will not have this baby deal with the same shit that I did when I was little. When I walk to my locker I see Jay going to his, which is right next to mine. At first I was going to just go to class but then I decided I wasn't going to let some dickhead ruin my life.

(Jay's point of view)

I see her walking towards her locker and it's as if I'm in a trance. She looks so lost, so helpless. And I can't do a damn thing about it. I just want her back in my arms. That's all I want. I can tell she's been crying from her pink cheeks and red, puffy eyes. But I don't say anything. I just get my stuff and go to class. The part that sucks is that she's in 7 out of the 9 classes that I have. So I have to look at her sad face all day.

"Jay would you mind going up to the board and answering number seven for us?" Mr. Armstrong asked me, snapping me out of my dazed out phase and back to reality.

"how about no" I say. I see him roll his eyes before picking a different person. Truth was I didn't know what the hell we were doing. Just some shit I wasn't going to use in the future. After that class I go to shop, where Alex and Amy are my partners. This should be interesting.

"let's just get this over with" Alex says as she looks at me and Amy. But before we can respond I see her run into the girls bathroom. I wonder what's up…I watch as Amy runs in after her. Bad move on Amy's part. She's really going to regret going in after Alex.

"what the hell are you looking at?" Amy says when she gets back. I can tell right away that she's pissed off because Alex probably yelled at her or something.

"what's wrong with Alex?" I don't even bother looking up knowing the look that amy was giving me.

"why do you care?" was all she said. I shot a dirty look at her. Couldn't she see that I still loved Alex. "you are the one that cheated on her."

"doesn't mean that I still don't care about her. Please just tell me what happened in the bathroom"

"fine. I walked in and she was puking, mumbling something to herself about morning sickness. And when she saw me she flipped out" My eyes went wide when I heard Amy say morning sickness. Was Alex pregnant? No…she couldn't be…she would have told me…wouldn't she have? Then again after all that shit I put her through I could see why she wouldn't tell me. I walk out Shop, not even bothering to say anything to Mr. Ehl. The school suddenly feels like I prison. I punch the locker as hard as I could, drawing blood.

"Jay?" I hear someone say behind me. It's Alex…what do I do?

"Alex, what do you want?" wait that wasn't suppose to come out so mean-sounding. Great this is a great way to get her to talk to me again. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap like that. But why are you talking to me? I thought you hated my guts"

(Alex's Point Of View)

I saw Jay punch that locker. I could tell right away he was mad. But I decided to over and say something anyway. When he snapped at me I almost lost it. Who was he to yell at me? But after he quickly apologized I forgot about it.

"This has nothing to do with me or you. It has to do with what's growing inside of me"…wait to go Alex you weren't suppose to tell him. You were suppose to make him feel pain like you did after hearing what he did. Oh well…

"Alex Are you pregnant?" Jay outright said. I did but didn't want to answer the question so I just nodded my head. "is it mine?". That just struck me the wrong way and I grew furious.

"is it yours? Of course it's your fucking kid I didn't cheat on you like you did on me. I'm not some cheap slut who fucks any guy that will come to her. You are the only guy I have ever had sex with Jay. And your asking me if its yours? That's bull shit I can't believe you actually think I would sleep with other guys." With that I turned, I didn't even care anymore. As far as I'm concerned he's dead to me. I hate him…no I don't. I love him…no. no I don't not anymore…

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There you guys go…I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think…please?

-Taryn


	3. Kicked Out and No Where To Go

Hey. Thanks so much for the reviews…I really appreciate it. Okay so here's another chapter. I hope you guys like it. oh yea and the song that's in here is "...Not Forever" by Tsunami bomb.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Jay's Point of View)

Why did I ask her if it was mine? I watched her retreating figure. It wasn't until she had walked out the door did I let the tears come. I didn't even care anymore if anyone saw me. I lost everything I had, I had a right to cry about that. After sitting there for ten minutes I got up and went out to my car. I was just sitting out there when Green Peace decided to come and talk to me. I rolled my eyes when I heard her say hi. I really didn't want to deal with her shit now.

"hey Jay what's wrong?" she opens the door without even asking, climbing into the passengers seat. I want to tell her to get out, but I don't even have the energy to fight with her.

"none of your god damn business Emma" maybe that will make her leave. I see her sad face when I say it but I don't even care. I don't care about Emma, I never did. I start to get lost in my own thoughts and don't even realize that she's still sitting there until I see Alex walking up to the car. I slight smile comes across my face but when I see her shake her head at me and turn and walk the other way I realized that Emma is still in the car. "GOD DAMNIT!!! Emma get out. Just get the fuck out of the car". Shock and horror spreads across her face as she gets out just looking at me with her sad eye.

I don't even care. All that I care about if how every time I try to fix things with Alex I fuck up some how. First I cheat on her, then I ask her if the kid she's carrying is mine, and now this. Is it just not suppose to be? Is this the punishment I get for cheating on the one person I love the most?

(Alex's Point Of View)

I watch as he sits in his car with _Emma _of all people Emma? What the hell was she doing in there? Wait…I saw her wearing one of the bracelets that Amy used to wear. Oh my god…she…she went down on Jay. She gave _my_ boyfriend head…I mean ex…I can't believe it. If I wasn't pregnant that girl would be feeling a lot of pain right around now. After I watch Jay and blonde bitch in his car I start walking to the ravine. I don't know why but I've always felt peaceful when I'm in the woods just by myself. But before I know it I feel someone behind me. Turning around it wasn't exactly who I expected.

"Alex…Can I talk to you?"

"what the hell do you want nature girl." I can't believe she has the audacity to come and try to talk to me. Who does she think she is?

"I just heard what happened with you and Jay and I wanted to say I'm sorry that he cheated on you" she doesn't even look into my eyes. That's bull shit.

"oh I bet you weren't sorry when you were giving him head were you Emma?" I turn my back to her and just take deep breaths to try not to get to angry. She starts to say something but I cut her off "just get the fuck away from me. I don't need your shitty apology at the moment, let me rephrase that, I don't need your shitty apology ever. I hear the leave rustle and I guess she left. Good thing I swear I would have flipped and it weren't for the baby.

I walked around the ravine for an house before I decided to go home. When I walk in I know that something isn't right. It wasn't till I got to the kitchen did I see Chad full of rage…he found the pregnancy test. "Fucking slut." He mumbled under his breath. He took a step towards me and I froze. "what couldn't keep your legs closed huh?" I start to back up but I hit the counter.

"Chad please don't" was all I could get out before I felt the blow of his hand on my face. Instantly my hand flies up to touch the area he slapped. The tears come next, but he doesn't care, he never does.

"get the hell out of my house. And don't worry I'll make sure your mom finds out how much of a slut you are." I was going to say something about how she knew but I didn't want her to have to deal with Chad later if he knew that she kept it from him…even if only for a day. "I don't ever want to see you again. You're a disgrace to all of us" he turns and goes back to his beer and TV. I run up to my room grabbing my book bag and stuffing my clothes and CDs inside. After I was sure I got pretty much everything I walked out of the door. Not bothering to look back…I had no where to go. My friends left me, my boyfriend cheated on me, and my parents kicked me out.

I just walked. I had no idea where my feet were taking me but I didn't hesitate. I kept going, all I wanted to do was get away from everything. It wasn't till I got there did I realize where my feet took me. I was standing in front of the school. No one was there at this hour so I just sat on the steps, hugging my knees to my chest and just let all of my tears out. This was definitely the most I've ever cried. Eventually I laid myself down on the cold concrete and put my head phones on…it was really ironic the song that came on…

I thought that this was solid  
Stability and safety sitting in my hang  
Just take a look at your life  
Your all alone!

Who'll be there when I need someone  
Count on nobody and no one will let you down  
I don't care, Just let me go  
I don't need this anymore

Love is not forever  
Friendship is not forever  
There is nothing set in stone  
You're on your own

Dependence is followed by weakness  
Don't be your own hostage  
If I know so many  
Why don't they know me  
They don't know me

Now I know what we're made of  
Confusion, Complication, and Uncertainty  
I thought this was real, I was wrong  
So I don't' know

(Jay's Point of View)

I drive around just trying to find something to do. I was going to go to the ravine but decided against it and I was just going to go sit in front of the school like I did sometimes when I wanted to think. When I get out of the car my jaw dropped when I saw someone lying on the steps listening to their CD player. What was Alex doing here? Shouldn't she be at home? I guess she hasn't noticed me because it looks like she's still staring up at the stars. When I get up to the stairs I sit down right by her head and she jumped probably the highest I've ever seen her when she saw me.

"Jay what are you doing here?" she sits up and I see she has a red hand print on her face…who the hell was that from?

"I usually come here to think. What are you doing here?" I notice her book bag which looks like it's over stuffed with clothes and some of her personal things. Did she run away?

"nothing." She simply states, I'm afraid to say the wrong thing so instead I stay quiet. But I guess the quiet is unnerving to her because I can almost see her fidgeting. It was then that I saw that she had goose bumps on her arms and she wasn't wearing a jacket. I take off my hoody and offer it to her.

"Alex please for once don't fight me and just put the damn jacket on" she reluctantly takes it and puts it on. "so you want to tell me how you got that hand print on your cheek" I knew I was pushing it but I didn't care.

(Alex's point of view)

Wow doesn't Jay have great timing? I wish I could tell him how I feel, I wish I could trust him but I can't. I won't let myself get hurt by him again. He asks about the mark Chad left but I don't know how to answer it. I don't want to tell him but I know that I'm going to. "Chad" was all I got out before I saw the fire burning in Jay's eyes.

"That son of a bitch hit you?" Jay asks. He just looks at me pissed off and just about ready to rip someone's head off.

"before you go and start to get all protect boyfriend on me, remember you no longer have that privilege." I didn't even have the energy to think of a better come back. In the past couple of days it seems like I'm just there, I'm almost emotionless. Sure I cry but its because I don't know what else to do.

"Alex, I love you…I'm sorry about all this shit. I didn't mean for any of it to happen. And I want you to know that I'm going to support whatever you choose to do with this baby okay?" I noticed how he changed the subject really quick. I hate when he does that, I hate when he goes all sensitive on me. I mean I can deal with someone yelling at me or making stupid comments but I didn't know how to respond to something like that.

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Don't forget I like review…thanks for reading it…I hope you liked it….

-Taryn


	4. Where to go?

Hey. This chapter mainly focuses on Alex. And thanks for all the reviews…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point Of View)

"I want to keep the baby but I don't want to give him or her a terrible life. I want them to have the best things. And I know I can't give them that." I look into jay's eyes and for some reason things didn't seem to feel so bad anymore. As unlike me that I sounded I don't care. I felt his arms around me and I just collapsed into him and sobbed.

"Shh it's okay Lexxi, I'm here" he kept saying over and over again. The little voice in my head kept screaming that I shouldn't let him get close to me again because in it's all going to end the same.

"no Jay…I'm not doing this again" I stand up, grab my bag and run. I couldn't do it again, if it happened once it's most likely going to happen again. After running for maybe twenty minutes I run out of breath and stop. "shit" I say to myself. I'm suppose to work tonight. It's my only way of getting money so I figure out where I ran to and catch the bus to the mall. By the time I get there I'm ten minutes late but I see Paige had covered for me. I quickly change and take my place behind the counter. "sorry I'm late". I said to Paige as I was filling a bag of popcorn.

"It's okay" she says back. She looks at me and I can tell that she senses something's wrong but she doesn't say anything about it. The next hour was very hectic but then everyone was in their movies and we had about 40 minutes till the next wave of people came in so we resorted to talking.

"so what's up" I say to her, maybe if we talk it will make the time go by faster. Wait…if it goes faster it means I have to figure out wear I'm staying sooner…

"nothing really…what about you?" should I tell that truth or do I lie? I say I lie this time.

"nothing…" I know she can tell I'm lying but I don't care. she might seem like an uptight bitch but when you get to know her she's not that bad.

"bull" she simply states. I look away, I was right. She could see right through me. she just always seemed to be able to see through lies. I don't know how she does it. "Alex what happened to your cheek. And why does it look like when you came in here you had been crying?"

"it's none of your business Paige."

"this is why you don't have any friends Alex. You push people away when they try to talk to talk to you or even try to help you." She snapped at me. Who the hell was she to tell me why I don't have any friends?

"I'm sorry if I'm not in the best of moods Paige and I if I don't feel like talking. Seeing as to the fact that I just got kicked out of my fucking house, I have no where to go, I'm pregnant, and my boyfriend had sex with my best friend. So I don't really feel like talking." I yelled it at her. I let all of it out and it felt good. I didn't even want to hear what she had to say so I left, I went in to tell Mary that I wasn't feeling good and asked if I could have the rest of the night off. Which she let me, but I think she only did because she heard what I had said to Paige out there.

(Jay's Point Of View)

Why won't she let me get close to her? I said I was sorry…I want to be there for her and the baby. But I don't know how to. Eventually I find myself in the ravine watching all the couples go into the van. Some chicks that I had gotten blow jobs before tried to get me in there but I just blew them off. I drank beer after beer until I had gotten myself into a drunken stupor. Nothing mattered anymore. So who cared if I drank like a fish? Who cared if I made it home alive? No one did, so why should I?

(Alex's Point Of View)

After deliberating it for a long time I decided to go to Ellie's and see if I could stay there. Since I didn't have any more money to take the bus I had to walk, it took maybe an hour or two to get there. "hey Ellie" I said when she answered the door, surprised to see me standing there.

"Alex? What are you doing here?". She looks like she was getting ready for bed, which is understandable since it looked like it was about 11 o'clock at night.

"El can I please stay the night. I promise I'll be out in the morning" I say quickly hoping that if I get it over with faster she'll say yes. I see a broad smile spread across her face and I finally take a deep breath knowing that she's going to say yes.

"of course you can Alex, like I told you before anytime that you need to stay here you can. Here you take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch." Why would she put herself on the couch for me? I'm nothing special, according to Paige I had no friends. And yet Ellie was willing to get up her bed.

"No El, its your house you take the bed. Don't you even argue with me on that one" I joke, but I still hope that she doesn't argue. We walk into the house and we both take a seat on the couch.

"all right I won't fight you on it on one condition." I know she's got something up her sleeve… "you tell me why you're here and why you look so down" I know I can trust Ellie so I decide to let her in on everything.

"fine. It all started yesterday…I hadn't gotten my period in two months so I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. Jay came over and tried to apologize for everything. I get pissed and freak out at him. He leaves and today in shop I ended up telling him that I'm pregnant. He asks me if its his, I yell at him and leave. Then later I went home and my step-dad found my pregnancy test. He kicks me out, I go to the school to think and Jay finds me. I tell him that I couldn't do it again. And then I go to work where Paige basically told me that I have no friends. And I walked here" it feels really good to let all of it out.

"Alex…Paige is wrong, Jay's a jerk along with your step-dad, and you can stay here for as long as you want. You shouldn't believe Paige, because I'm your friend." She gets up and tosses me a pair of her pajama pants and without talking I went into the bathroom and get changed. It felt good to have a friend again.

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There you guys go. And please review…

-Taryn


	5. Trying To Make Pancakes

Hey Guys…I'm sorry I didn't get to update yesterday. I went and applied at this pizza place and then I had to help my friend with her history project. Anyway here's another chapter…please review…thanks…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Jay's point of view)

I woke up the next morning sitting in my car, in front of my house. I don't even remember how I got there…I drove? I must have been drunk as hell. Some of last nights events are coming back to me…I remember coming to the school to think then going to the ravine. But I know there was something else…Alex! She was at the school when I came here. Chad had slapped her…how could I forget? I have to talk to her. But where could she be? Maybe I should go change first.

Walking into the house the smell of alcohol and rotting food was nothing new. Neither was the sight of my mother passed out on the couch still holding her beer bottle. I doubt she even noticed me out front and if she did she was too drunk to even care. I hate living here. I hate everything about it, from the smell to the furniture (which was basically a couch from the 70's and a chair that looked like it had been through hell). I go up to my room and pick up whatever looks clean off the floor and put it on.

Ten minutes later I found myself walking out the door, after taking a couple Advil to ease my headache of course. I didn't bother to take my car I needed to get some fresh air anyway. I thought that I would stop by Ellie's to see if maybe Alex was there. After I knocked on the door a very tired looking Ellie answered the door. "Hey Ellie" was all I said before I noticed her eyes get wide when she saw it was me. "I was wondering if you had seen Alex"

"Why do you want to know?" why was everyone giving me a hard time whenever I asked about her? Couldn't they see that I had made a mistake and was trying to make up for it? It was then that I heard someone scream something to Ellie about food burning. Who could that be?

"Ellie who's in there?" I asked, was Alex here? It would make sense for her to come here now that I think about it. Then Alex actually came to the door to see whom Ellie was talking too…

"Ellie who's at the…" She trailed off and then whispered, "door". She took one look at me and went back inside. It killed me to know that she couldn't even really stand to be around me.

"I'm sorry Jay" was all that Ellie said before she closed the door. I left…defeated…

(Alex's Point Of View)

Why was he here? Why is it that whenever I start to feel happier he comes back around and everything that I don't want to think about comes back. Forget about him…I can do better…right? Ellie walks in apologizing about Jay coming. But I know it's not her fault and I make sure I tell her that.

"Now what are we trying to make here?" I look at the stuff she has piled on the table. I wasn't use to this; usually I just had something simple to eat like an apple or a bowl of cereal. "You do realize how dangerous it is to have me trying to cook right?" she just laughed and nodded. "Just a fair warning I'd find your fire extinguisher before we start.

"Maybe I should get that" I saw her run quickly out of the kitchen and into the living room where she got the extinguisher from. "And we're trying to make pancakes okay Alex"

"Right…now don't blame me if they suck" she just nodded and we started. Man was it a challenge. Once we were done with the batter Ellie started to make the pancakes and I couldn't help it…I might have thrown some at her.

"What was that?" she said feeling the back of her head where I had hit her. I couldn't even answer cause I was laughing so hard. "Oh you're getting it now". I watched at she looked at the bowl full of batter on the table. We both lunged for it and he each got a handful and just started throwing it at each other.

Eventually I ran out, "El I'm out…truce?" I called from my spot behind the table that had nothing on it and I had knocked over to use as a fort type thing. I stand up with my hands in the air.

"All right Truce" When she stood up I realized how good I got her, she was covered in batter from head to toe. I'm guessing that she noticed how well she got me because she started busting out laughing along with me. "Well so much for pancakes."

"I have a better idea why don't we just go to McDonald's?" I heard her say something about money but I finally got her to let me pay since I was going to stay at her house. We cleaned up the house and each took a shower and got dressed.

(Jay's point of View)

I decided to just walk around town to try to think of some way to win Alex back….

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Okay I know its not a lot but I'm having a bit of writers block…and thanks to everyone that reviewed. I'll try to update it tomorrow if I have time…

-Taryn


	6. Getting A Job

Hey. Yet again I'm here with another chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I know this chapter isn't that good. But I'm suffering from major writers block…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Jay's Point Of View)

I decided that I wasn't going to be some deadbeat dad, I went and applied at McDonald's. Yes, I Jay Hogart, had sunk as low as to get a job at a fast food restaurant. But I think that Alex and this baby are worth it. Maybe if she saw that I was trying to help out and do whatever I can she will take me back. Fortunately for me they were running really low on people so they just accepted me and told me I could start right then. I went into the back and changed my shirt. I was really doing this…oh well its time to start taking responsibility.

They told me I was going to have to work till closing that night, which I had no problem doing. Since it meant more money of course. I was hoping, more like praying, that no one I knew would come in but just my luck someone did. It was about an hour after I started that I saw Alex and Ellie come in…what was I going to do? I was kind of hoping that I could tell her about this after I got a little bit of money that I could give her but I guess that's out of the picture now. Her and Ellie are still talking, they don't notice me yet. But then Alex walks up starts to order some food and when she looks up her jaw dropped.

(Alex's Point Of View)

What was Jay doing here? He actually had a job? I never thought I'd see the day Jay would work in a McDonald's. "Hey Jay" was all I could think of, this blew my mind.

"Hey Alex. Was that all you wanted or did you want something else too?" he seemed so nonchalant like this happened all the time. I wanted to ask him why he got a job here and why he just seems to keep popping up where ever I was. I wanted answers for a lot of things but I kept my mouth shut.

"Yea can we get a number 5 and a number 8."

"Sure. Is That for here or to go?" I noticed he wouldn't look me in the eye. He kept his eyes on the register the whole time.

"for here. And how much will it be?" I turned to Ellie and quickly told her to get us a table and I would get the food. I watched her walk off and pick one that was towards the back where no one was.

"its free of charge" He reached into his pocket and started to pull out some money. I started to say something about how he doesn't have to pay, but he cut me off. "Alex will you please let me pay for your food. I want to help with you and this baby and I want to start now." He wanted to help? I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I want him to help, but I didn't want to admit that.

"fine. But just this once" I chose not to argue with him. I could tell that he was determined to help and it didn't matter whether or not I wanted him to.

"Hey listen can we talk later?" I nod my head. "where can I meet you?"

"Ellie's. What time do you get off?" am I really going to meet him? if he apologizes and tells me he loves me I don't know what I'll do. Part of me wants to forgive him the other wants to slap him or never talk to him again…

"how about I meet you there at 11? Or is that too late?"

"that's fine just call first. Alright I have to go before the line behind me gets to long bye Jay."

(Jay's Point Of View )

I can't believe that she agreed to meet me. I have to make sure I don't fuck this up…_again._ Its only 2. that's a whole 9 hours before I get to see her again. I couldn't believe that she let me pay for her food. Throughout the whole time we went out she never, not once, let me pay. We would always end up splitting the bill because she had to much pride to let a guy ever pay for her food.

Half an hour that's all that's left till I get to go meet Alex. I'm nervous beyond belief…how do I apologize? What if she doesn't listen? What if she just slams the door in my face? Relax Jay. You don't have to worry about this. You are going to be fine. Ten minutes left.

(Alex's Point of View)

After me and Ellie left McDonald's we went back home and just lounged. I called the free health clinic so I could get the doctor's pregnancy test done. It was in two day…my appointment. I knew in my heart that I was. I didn't think that I needed to get the doctor's one done but Ellie made me. I was laying down on the couch at around 9 when I guess I fell asleep. I felt someone stroking my cheek and whispering my name. I opened my eyes and nearly pissed myself when I saw Jay's face extremely close to mine. I shot up from my spot. What time was it? It couldn't be 11 already. "Jay what are you doing here?"

"You said that I could. Remember earlier I asked if we could meet and you said yea" for a second the expression on his face looked to be sadness but then it was covered up with his usual emotionless mask.

"Yea of course I remember. I just wasn't expecting you to wake me up."

(Jay's Point Of View)

My heart dropped when I heard her ask why I was there. Did she really not remember? But when she said she did it made me feel a lot better. When I was stroking her cheek I realized how much I do miss all of that. Well here we go. Lets see if we can make it through a whole conversation without yelling or one of us walking out…

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okay…review…please?

-Taryn


	7. The Talk

I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a couple days. But I had a three day weekend, mixed with laziness, and writers block results in Taryn not writing anything. And I'm especially sorry to Unwanted Souless Freak…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point Of View)

I was really going to talk to him. I wasn't going to freak out at him or run out. I was going to act like an adult and talk it out, even though I was never really good with talking. I was always better with my fists but now wasn't the time for that. I look into his eyes waiting for him to start but I guess he was waiting for me so I started.

"Jay." Was all that came out. I didn't know exactly where to start. Here we go… "it really hurt me when I found out that you cheated on me. I know your sorry and all but it still doesn't change the fact that you did it." I stopped. Somewhat hoping that he would say something, which he did.

"I know. I know I fucked up. And you have no idea how much I regret that." That was all he said. How was I suppose to respond to that?

"I will never admit this to anyone else but you did break my heart." He started to say something but I cut him off. "Maybe if you hadn't of chosen to do it with my best friend it would have been different. Why her? Out of all the other girls you could have picked up had to choose my best friend. That was what hurt the most. I trusted both of you." I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks but I didn't bother to wipe them away. "but I still have one question for you. Why? Why did you do it? What did I do wrong?"

"nothing. You did nothing wrong. I'm stupid, I didn't realize what I had until I lost it. I didn't mean for it to happen with Amy it just kind of happened. But there is one other person that I didn't tell you about." I already knew what he was going to say. I had hoped that maybe I had been wrong to accuse Emma of giving Jay a blowjob but this proved that I was right.

"Emma" I simply stated. I watched as his mouth dropped open. He was clueless as to how I knew about her. Does he not think that those stupid bracelets give it away? Before he could even ask I told him how I knew. "I saw her wearing one of the bracelets that Amy used to wear so I figured that she must have done something with you to get it." He nodded his head. "anyway off the subject of her. I've decided that I want to keep this baby. I know I'm not seen as a good mother-to-be but I don't care. All I care about is this kid."

"I'm behind you 100. You know I got that job at McDonald's, not for money for me but for money for you and this baby." He actually did that for me and our baby?

(Jay's Point of View)

I can't believe that she knows about Emma and that she doesn't even seem to care. I'm happy that she chose to keep the baby. It hurt me when she told me I broke her heart and I know that took a lot for her to admit that because Alex wasn't someone to ever show in anyway that she was weak or that someone could get inside her head. I was hoping that we could get back together but I doubt that she wants that right now. I miss her being around. I miss her laugh. I miss everything about her. Man when did I become so mushy?

"Alex I love you. I want you to know that." I know it sounds cheesy but I do love her. I love her more than I thought I ever could.

"I love you to Jay. But right now I just want us to be friends." Friends? I might be able to do that. Scratch that, I will do that. I'll show her how good of a friend I could be.

"I can do that. I just want you back in my life. I want to be there for you and this baby." I was really turning into a sappy mushy type of guy…what happened to me? I used to be some badass kid who didn't take shit from anyone. But here I was trying to prove myself to someone. I looked around the room and noticed that it was already one in the morning and I had to be at work at 7. "I'm sorry Lexxi but I have to bail. I've got to work in the morning."

"See you later Jay"

"Later…Friend" I had realized that she didn't correct me when I called her Lexxi and I saw her smile when I said friend. That had been the first genuine smile I had seen on her in so long. It was great to see it again. I walked out of the door and into my car. The whole ride home it probably looked like I was smiling like a retard but I didn't care. I had been given another chance to possibly be with the best chick in the world.

(Alex's Point Of View)

Me and Jay are going to be friends. It felt good to say that…Friends. The way he had just agreed that it would be good to be friends was amazing to me. I saw that it caught him off guard when I didn't correct him when he called me Lexxi but seeing as to the fact that we were friends I thought I would let him. Then when he called me friend it made me smile, actually smile, which I hadn't done in a long time. I was sitting there for a little bit when I heard Ellie come in. I'm guessing that she want some details…

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There you guys go. And thanks so much for the reviews…I'll hopefully update sometime this week…if I'm not feeling lazy…

-Taryn


	8. Someone's Back

Hey guys. Sorry for the long wait…I've been really busy with midterms and a lot of stuff has been going on in my life. But here's the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. And thanks for the reviews…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point of View)

After Ellie came in I told her what me and Jay talked about and she just sat there listening intently. I never knew someone could be so interested in something that happened between the schools "criminals", as we've been called. Once we were done talking about what happened between me and Jay, we just talked about anything. We talked all night and finally fell asleep around 8 that morning. It felt good to be able to have a friend to talk to again. Ellie's a lot different than Amy. With Amy we would always go get drunk and she would hook up with a guy but with Ellie we actually talk about stuff and it isn't about just drinking.

At around 12 I heard the door bell ringing. I opened my eyes and started blinking from the bright light. I got up and went to answer the door. Let's say that when I answered I was surprised none the less. Standing before me was none other then Sean Cameron. What the hell was he doing here? He left Ellie…

"Alex?" I can hear the surprise in his voice but who can blame him? I mean when he left me and Ellie weren't really the best of friends. "what are you doing here?"

"I think the question is more what are you doing here?" During the time we had talked that night Ellie had told me that she had been so lonely ever since Sean had left her. And how she thought that he had loved her and then he just up and left to stay with his parents. I heard Ellie getting up and asking who I was talking to…but before I could answer she came to the door. "I think I'm going to let you two talk. El I'll be in the bathroom taking a shower."

I really wasn't, I was thinking about standing in the hallway listening in on their conversation…I think I might just do that. From what it sounds like Sean's saying that he's back, Ellie is saying she's still hurt that he left, Sean says he's sorry, Ellie starts to cry. That's all I hear before I left, I couldn't take hearing Ellie cry. She was such an amazing person I had no clue how someone could put her through that.

(Jay's Point of View)

I stumbled out of bed at around 6:30 and remembered that I had to be at work in a half an hour. I quickly threw some clothes on and ran out of the door and into my car. Luckily I made it in there just in time. That definitely wouldn't be good, being late on my very first day. I guess you could say I was surprised when I saw Sean Cameron come in around nine. And I guess that he was surprised to see me too.

"Jay? Your actually working?" why are people so surprised that I would actually work? I really must have the reputation of being a thief.

"yea man. What are you doing here?" he left a couple months ago and no one had heard from him since. Everyone knew that his girlfriend or ex-girlfriend, I didn't even know anymore, hadn't been doing so good since he left.

"I'm back for good. Things weren't going so well in Wasega and I missed Ellie." He missed her? If he really missed her than why didn't he call?

"that's great. We have to chill sometime. Stop by later and we'll find something to do. But first you had better go see Ellie. She hasn't been doing so good." With that he left. And I knew exactly where he was going. He was going to go see Ellie…he really did love her. The rest of the morning went pretty fast. I couldn't wait till I was done. I decided that I would go spend some time with Alex.

I was starting to space out when this blonde chick snapped me out of it. "hey? Jay???" I guess she looked down at my name tag cause I had never seen her in my life or so I thought...

"sorry. May I take your order?" she just kind of laughed at me and smiled almost flirtatiously. Was this chick trying to flirt with me?

"Ok how about a beer and a little something in the van again…tonight at the ravine?" oh shit this was one of the chicks that I had cheated on Alex with. Man I really need to lay off the alcohol, I can't even remember this girl. "you don't remember me do you?" I shook my head. "well then let me introduce myself again…I'm Jamie"

"I'm sorry Jamie but I'm done with the ravine" I really was. I wasn't going to fuck up with me and Alex again. I was never going down there again.

"Come one Jay baby no one has to know."

"no one might know but I would and I highly doubt that my girlfriend would really like me going down there with a skank like you" ok so I might have told a little white lie to get out this chick of my back…I'm sure Alex wouldn't mind when she found out.

"but she didn't know that last times we've done it." Man this chick needs to lay off. Can't she see that I'm not interested in her?

"yea maybe we did but then we wasn't pregnant" I see Jamie's mouth drop open a little and she quickly closed it. Maybe now she would get the point.

"how do you know its even yours? She might have been fucking some other guy and you at the same time? I've heard that she's pretty easy." Who the hell did this chick thing she was? She has no right to talk about Alex like that.

"I know that its mine because she isn't a slut and she really did love me and I treated her like shit. So you need to back the fuck off and leave. I'm done cheating and I'm done with the ravine. go find some other guy who wants a cheap slut like yourself" she finally walked out. Alex is not a slut and I can't believe that she would say that to me and her.

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There you go…hope you enjoy it…sorry if it sucks…

-Taryn


	9. Very Similar

Hey guys. Here's the next chapter…hope you enjoy…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do

wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point Of View)

I took a nice, hot, long shower hoping that by the time I got out Sean and Ellie had their talk and Ellie wasn't crying. I quickly got dressed and quietly made my way towards the living room. I could still hear them talking. Only this time both of them sound like their crying. Sean Cameron actually crying? I never thought I'd see the day.

"How could you Sean? You knew I loved you" Ellie sounded so angry but her voice was also full of sorrow. What had Sean done? "I can't believe that you had sex with another girl." What?

"Ellie. I'm sorry it didn't mean anything. I got drunk and we were both lonely so we ended up together. Please El I love you." You could somewhat understand what he was saying but it was a little hard from all the crying. He actually cheated on her. This just goes to show you what jerks guys are.

"Get out. Just get out" I heard Sean start to protest but Ellie just said "Get out!" I walked into the room to find Ellie on the couch crying her eyes out. I knew how she felt…I went over and sat next to her pulling her into a hug. Just letting her let all of it out. "he cheated on me" she kept saying in between the sobs that were coming out. I shushed her telling her it would all be okay. I stayed there until she eventually cried herself to sleep. I got up and decided that I needed to have a little talk with a certain person. Quickly I laid Ellie on the couch, covered her with a blanket, and wrote her a little note telling her I would be back later.

It only took me a couple seconds to think of where Sean would be. I knew he had to be at Jay's since they were like best friends. Jay didn't live to far from Ellie's so I walked there. When I got there I noticed that Jay wasn't there, that could be a very good thing. I knocked on the front door, not to my surprise Sean answered it. He looked more than shocked to see me standing there. Before he could say anything though I punched him in the face and kicked him in his balls. I kept in my laughter as I saw him grab his crotch in pain and slide down to the floor.

"That's what you get. How could you cheat on Ellie? After all the shit she did for you. You don't fucking deserve her. Now you'll stay away from her if you know what's good for you. You know you and Jay are a lot more similar than I thought" I turned to walk away when I saw Jay's car pull up. Shit.

(Jays Point of View)

I saw someone that looked a lot like Alex run away from my house but I could have just been seeing things. When I walked up to the door my jaw dropped. There Sean was laying on his side holding his crotch. I realized after a minute that someone must have hit him in his balls. I kneeled down and looked at him. he was starting to get a black eye too.

"Sean what happened to you?" I could tell that he could barely talk from the pain in his balls. I sat down on the ground just laughing at his pain when after about 10 minutes he sat up.

"your girlfriend is what happened to me" what the hell was he talking about? Shit it was Alex that I saw running from here earlier.

"she isn't my girlfriend anymore. So why did she beat the shit out of you?" I stood up and started to make my way into the house. Sean followed, limping a little bit and still holding himself. He really was a sight to see.

"what happened between you two?"

"lets just say I wasn't the most faithful boyfriend." I handed Sean an ice pack from the freezer which he quickly grabbed and held to his balls. We walked into the living room and sat down. "you still haven't told me why she beat the shit out of you"

"like she said we are very similar. I cheated on Ellie with some chick that I met at a party." Damn I never thought that Sean would be the type to cheat. I nodded before I realized that I never told him about Alex.

"Hey Sean there's something else…Alex's is pregnant." The look on Sean's face was priceless. I guess I must have gotten used to the idea because it didn't really shock me as much when I said it.

"you got her pregnant man?" I nodded. "so I'm guessing you guys are all right with each other?"

"yea. We've decided to be friends for now. I do miss her though. it made me realize how much of a dumb ass I was for getting with those girls at the ravine." I'm actually telling someone this? I never usually let anyone know my feelings. I think the only person that I ever did was Alex…

"yea I know what you mean. We really fucked up this time didn't we? God why couldn't I have just waited. I was coming back in a week but I still got drunk that night." Sean sounded so upset with himself. And I knew exactly how it felt…

(Alex's Point of View)

After I went to have my little visit with Sean I went food shopping. I got everything that a heartbroken girl could possibly want. We had chocolate, ice cream, it was junk food galore. When I did get back into the house Ellie was still asleep so I put the food away and went back into the living room. I decided to wake Ellie up since it had been about two hours since I had left.

"Alex? What time is it?" she asked when I got her up. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall before answering.

"it's 3 o'clock. Come into the kitchen. I got the perfect thing for both of us." I could tell that she was intrigued and she rushed into the kitchen to see everything.

"I love you Alex. Your such an awesome friend." That felt really good to hear from her. I watched as she opened up the ice cream and started eating it out of the container. I grabbed a spoon and decided to help her eat some of it. We pigged out for what seemed like forever until I finally gave in that I was full and so did she. I leaned back in my chair with my hand over my stomach.

"Alex we need to talk" she sounded so serious. Was something wrong? Did something happen?

"about what?"

"about how alike we really are" what did she mean by that……

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There you guys go. I hope you liked it. Please review…

-Taryn


	10. Another Twist

Heres another chapter…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point of View)

Alike? Me and Ellie were alike? Was she pregnant? But who could she be pregnant by? Sean left two months ago…unless she knew a while ago but never told anyone. There's just so many questions going through my head right now. I'm waiting for her to start talking…I guess she was waiting to find the right words because it was like that for a good 5 minutes before she finally said something. The look on her face was a mixture of pain and sorrow. She looked like she wanted to cry but hit something at the same time.

"…I'm pregnant too…" why didn't she tell me when I first got here?

"by who?" all she had to do was look me in the eye and I knew that it was Sean. Wow him and jay are even more similar. The list of similarities just seems to keep getting longer and longer between them.

"we had sex for the first time the night before he left." Silent tears were streaming down her face and I felt so helpless. I couldn't cure her pain anymore than she could have cured mine when I first came here. It was then that I saw Ellie for who she was, a helpless teenager trying to find a place for herself. She looked so insecure like she was clueless as to what to do next. "we got so caught up we forgot to use a condom. I found out a couple weeks after he left. But I didn't want him to come home just because I was pregnant. I wanted him to come home because he wanted to. And now that he's here I don't even want to see him."

"El you have to talk to him. you need to let him know that your pregnant. I know its gonna be hard. And he's a little bitch but still do you really want this kid to grow up without a dad? So you gonna tell him?" she nodded her head and completely broke down. I let her lay her head down in my lap and I stroked her hair. After a while she calmed down.

"So El, is it an appointment for two tomorrow at the health clinic?" I hope that she goes too…

"yes Alex. And I know that you want me to tell Sean about this and I really want you to be there when I tell him because I don't know how he's going to react when he hears it." For some reason it felt really good that Ellie actually wanted me to be there with her.

"Of Course Ellie." I looked at the clock and it read 4:30. "shit Ellie I've gotta be at work by five. I'll be back later tonight. Your going to be ok right?" she looked at me and knew what I was talking about.

"I promise I won't cut myself." I smiled at her and walked out the door. Luckily I had enough money to take the bus today so it only took me 20 minutes to get to the mall. By the time I got my uniform on in the back I was just in time. Paige was also working today…this could be interesting. The lines finally died down about an hour later and we had some time to ourselves. I didn't really expect Paige to talk to me after my little outburst the other day…but Paige is just full of surprises.

"Alex?" I looked up from my magazine that I was looking at and gave her a questioning glance. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for the other day and I was completely out of line with what I said. I had no right to say all the stuff that I said. And I didn't really mean it when I said that you had no friends." Paige actually admitting she was wrong? I never thought I'd see the day.

"it's okay Paige. I'm sorry I freaked out at you. I was just really frustrated and you were the first person to set me off." I did feel some what bad that I unloaded all my shit on her…ok so I really didn't.

"so we're ok then?" I nodded and she smiled. I never really thought that I could be kinda friends with Paige Michealchuck but here I am…a lot has changed.

(Jay's Point of View)

Me and Sean chilled at my house the whole night. I had really wanted to go and see Alex but I thought that maybe it would be best if I stayed here with Sean. The whole night Sean didn't say a single word. He just sat there staring at the wall intently. I kind of felt bad for the poor guy.

"you should really go try to talk to her about it" I said after we had sat in silence for a while. I couldn't take it…it almost felt like silence was louder than noise. All he did was nod his head. Once he fell asleep I left to go to see Alex. I know it was really late but I had to see her. I had to talk to her about Sean. It wasn't too late, it was only 11:30. I walked to Ellie's house and knocked on the door. A very tired looking Ellie answered the door. Without even saying a word to me she pointed at the kitchen and walked away. I looked into the kitchen and saw Alex with a bunch of junk food around her. I let out a little laugh and she looked straight at me.

"what are you doing here?" I noticed she tried to hide some of the food she had and I had to suppress my laughter.

"I came here to see you. And I wanted to talk about the damage you did to Sean earlier. Man you did a really good job he had to of been on the floor for at least 10 minutes." For a second she looked lost in thought and then she busted out laughing. God I love her laugh.

"damn I didn't think I did that good of a job. Maybe that will teach him not to fuck with Ellie anymore.

"so what are you eating" I asked as I looked behind her and saw chips, ice cream, soda, tasty cakes, and a bunch of candy bars. "damn Alex you hungry or what?" I seriously think that is the most junk food I have ever seen in my life.

"hey if I recall correctly I'm pregnant with your kid. So I can eat whatever I want." I couldn't help but laugh at how she said it. "so you want any?"

"do you even have to ask" Alex laughed and handed me a bunch of different things. "see this is why I love you" wait did I just say that? Shit…I hope she didn't hear it.

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There you go…and yes I made Ellie pregnant…I hope you guys liked it…review…please?

-Taryn


	11. Telling Sean

Hey guys thanks for the reviews…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

(Alex's Point of View)

Did Jay just say what I think he said? Maybe I should give him another chance…I mean it does seem like he's changed. But what if he hasn't? what if I end up getting hurt again? What if things don't work out and the baby grows up without a dad? What if everything goes wrong? What if? I know that I still love him. But with all the risks would it be worth it?

"Jay…I love you too", wait I didn't mean to say that. Why does my mouth always seem to betray me whenever I want to hold stuff in? I really need to work on controlling my mouth. "I mean…….yea," I couldn't think of anything else to say. How do you redeem yourself after telling a guy that you love that you love him but you really didn't want to? I heard the door open. I didn't know Ellie had gone out, when did she leave? The stomping of the feet definitely didn't sound like Ellie. Who was in our house?

"Hello?" I called out but there was no response. Jay nodded his head to the door and started to walk to where the footsteps were going. I followed directly behind him. The sudden yelling that came out of Ellie's room scared the shit out of me. It sounded like. Wait was that Sean?

"Alex. Maybe we should leave them alone" was all that I heard Jay say when I threw the door open in Ellie's room. Where I saw Sean standing there looking furious and Ellie on the bed, with her knees pulled up to her chest crying her eyes out. I decided it would be best to wait until after Ellie left the room to give Sean another wonderful gift from my foot.

"What's going on in here?" I could tell that Sean was trying to scare me away by staring me down. That's funny. This guy has no clue how good I am at staring people down. After a couple seconds he gave in and looked away…ha little bitch.

"Go mind your own business Alex" He finally said. I looked to Ellie who just shook her head no.

"No I don't think I want to Sean. Now you want to tell me why the fuck you're here to begin with? If I recall correctly didn't I tell you to leave Ellie the fuck alone?" I felt Jay standing behind me. He put his hand on my arm; I'm guessing it was his way of telling me to calm down.

"Alex this is none of your god damn business this is between me and Ellie." This kid had a lot of audacity to talk to me like that.

"I think I want to make it my business" I moved towards the bed where I pulled Ellie into a hug and whispered in her ear. "El you've gotta tell him that your pregnant. Me and Jay are here so he won't do anything to you" I stood back up and walked back over to Jay who just looked clueless.

"Sean I need to tell you something." I could hear her voice crack. Poor Ellie. She had so much shit going on in her life and this didn't help anything. "Sean……….I'm…….I'm………"

"What is it El. You know you can tell me anything," Sean sounded like he actually cared. Maybe he wouldn't just leave her like I kind of thought he would do.

"Sean I'm pregnant" Sean's jaw just dropped. And I thought I heard Jay cough like he choked on his spit or something. After a little bit of Sean just standing there with his mouth hanging open Ellie said, "Say something…please" the next thing that Sean did confused the shit out of me…he smiled. He looked like a little kid in a candy store.

(Jay's Point of View)

I had to keep myself from almost falling over when I heard Ellie say that she was pregnant. But it couldn't be Sean's he left two months ago. Unless they had sex before he left…I saw Sean smile. He actually looked like he was happy that Ellie was pregnant.

"Your really pregnant El?" Sean said after a couple minutes of just standing there. He can be so dense sometimes. Does he really think that Ellie would lie about that?

"Yea Sean I am. And I can understand if you want to go back to Wasega and pretend that I never existed." Sean looked pretty hurt when she said that. I knew that Sean had changed a lot since he was here. He seemed a lot more mature and he seemed a lot more responsible.

"Ellie do you really think that I would just leave you and this baby?"

"You tell me" was all she said. Sean gave me that look that meant to leave him and her alone. I pulled Alex out by her arm and we went back into the kitchen.

"What'd you do that for?" she looked kind of pissed that I made her leave the room. But I knew that Sean needed to speak to Ellie before she intervened and made Sean say something he would regret.

"They need to talk by themselves. Here have a cookie," I said as I threw one at her, which hit her shoulder. And she retaliated by throwing a bag of chips at my head, which I narrowly avoided. We went back and forth for a little while. But she could never get me since I was so good at ducking and dodging the things. And I got her almost every single time, which made it even more enjoyable for me. After a while she realized that she wasn't getting anywhere so she went to the refrigerator. She pulled out one of those water bottles that you could squeeze out and pointed it at me.

"Lexxi put it down. Don't you do it." I saw her getting ready to squeeze so I chased after her and grabbed her around the waist tickling her at the same time.

"ok, ok I give in" she slowly turned towards me and looked me in my eyes. I didn't even realize that I still had my hands around her waist. I slowly started to lean closer…

(A/N) Hey guys. There you go…I know this chapter mainly revolves around Ellie and Sean…sorry if it sucks…bye…

-Taryn


	12. Payback Can Be A Bitch

Sorry I haven't updated in a while…I've been lazy and I wasn't quite sure as to what should happen…but I hope you guys like it…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Jay's Point of View)

I leaned closer. I just stared into her eyes and it was like I could get lost. I leaned closer and she didn't push me away. We both started moving closer to each other until my lips met hers. It felt like old times…I really missed that. I know that it was only a few seconds but it felt a hell of a lot longer than that. Damn Sean and Ellie for coming out of their room. I looked up and saw them holding hands. Looked like they sorted out their problems.

"You guys mind" I said. Sean just raised his eyes brows at me and smirked.

"Not at all" I watched him walk over to the fridge and grab a soda out of there. He then took his time and went and sat down at the table. I was going to kill him later.

"What's wrong guys don't you want some company?" Ellie grinned at me and then walked over and sat next to Sean. I was going to kill her too. Alex just looked at me and bit her lip to hold her laughter in. I rolled my eyes at her and shook my head. She knew that this was killing me and she didn't seem to mind.

"Sure we want some company." Alex moved away from me and went and sat at the table. Now she was going to let me suffer.

(Alex's Point of View)

I can't believe that we actually kissed, but it felt so natural. I know after all the shit that he put me through that I shouldn't give him another chance but I think that he deserves one. Jay looked like he was about to kill Ellie and Sean when they came in here so I thought that maybe I should play along with them…he's going to kill me later. But I enjoy seeing him suffer. I know its mean but it can be very fun. Sean and Jay stayed till around midnight then they left and me and El went into the living room.

"so El, you wanna tell me what happened in that bedroom?" I collapsed onto the couch but I kept my eyes on her. She closed her eyes for a minute as if she was recalling exactly what happened then I saw her crack a smile.

"He told me that, that girl in Wasega meant nothing to him and he was just really lonely and missing me. Then he said that he wanted to be there for me and this baby and he would help out any way he could." I liked that Ellie was smiling again. As much as she didn't want to admit it she was really hurting once Sean left and now he was here to pick up the pieces. "what about what happened out in the kitchen? You and Jay seemed to be getting very close." I couldn't help it…I actually blushed. Yes me, Alex, actually blushed. "Aww is little Alex blushing." Ellie teased and I threw a pillow at her.

"Shut up. We got into a little food fight which resulted in us kissing…no big deal" Nice way to try to play it off. Yea right…

"So you giving him another chance?" I wasn't really paying attention to her, I was just thinking about the question. I nodded. "Just don't let him walk all over you. You be the boss and if he cheats on you I'll kick him in his balls like you kicked Sean." How did she know about that? "Sean told me about it." She said, she must have known I was going to ask.

"So we better get to bed we have that doctor's appointment tomorrow at 9:30." I watched her walk back into her bedroom and I set myself up on the couch so I was comfortable. Tomorrow is going to be a good day…

(Jay's Point Of View)

Sean and I walked into my house and sat down in the living room. "So Cameron. What happened when me and Alex left the room?" I know I was being nosy but hey he was my best friend.

"I told her the truth and she took me back. I can't believe it…God I can't believe I was stupid enough to cheat on her in the first place. No girl could ever compare to her." I couldn't help but laugh, Sean sounded like such a girl. "what are you laughing about? You and Alex seemed to be getting cozy in the kitchen. What happened?"

"I don't know. One minute we were throwing food at each other and the next thing I know she's in my arms and I'm kissing her. And thanks a lot I really appreciated you guys coming out in the middle of it." Now it was his turn to laugh. He was going to pay later. "so you going to find a job to help out with the baby and stuff?"

"Yea, are they still hiring at McDonalds?" I nodded my head. "I think I might go and apply there. I just really want Ellie and this baby to have the best. And I hope that I can give it to them."

"I know exactly what you mean." In truth I really did. But the thought that I might be a horrible father like my own still hung over my head. I hope I'm not a fuck-up like he was.

"Alright man I'm going to bed." Sean said before he laid down on the couch…big mistake on his part. I waited for about a half an hour till I knew for sure he was asleep. I went into the kitchen and got a freezing cold cup of water. This was going to be good…he should have never interrupted my moment with Alex. I quietly walked into the living room and held the cup of water directly above his head. He looked so peaceful sleeping. Oh Well. I dumped the cup on his head and ran…he was going to be pissed. I locked myself in my room and laid on the bed laughing my ass off. I heard him come and try to open my door but gave up. That's what he gets…

(Alex's Point Of View)

I couldn't really sleep. So I laid there thinking…it can be a very bad thing. I thought about how I could end up just like my mom or worse. And I thought about the baby and what I don't want them to have to go through. Thinking can be a very bad thing when all you can think about is the worst things that could happen…I finally drifted into a deep sleep thinking about the doctors appointment for tomorrow.

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Well there you go…and by the way I got the cold cup of water being dumped on someone from my ex-boyfriend…him and his friends used to do it to each other all the time. I know its mean…but I hope you guys liked this chapter. I'll try to update sooner next time…

-Taryn


	13. Visiting The Health Clinic

Heres another chapter…thank you to those who reviewed…I appreciate it. I hope you guys like this chapter…

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(Alex's Point of View)

I woke up around 8:00 and remembered that Ellie and me had the appointment at 9:30. I went into her bedroom and found her already awake just laying there looking at the ceiling. "Hey El", I said and she just looked at me and smiled. "I'm going to take a shower and get ready okay?" She nodded her head and I left the room to and went to the bathroom. I let the water run until it got hot and then climbed in. The water felt so good…I must have stayed in there for at a half an hour. It's weird how whenever I get in the shower it makes me so peaceful. Maybe it's the constant pounding of the water on the floor of the tub or maybe because it feels like the water is washing your problems away for even if it's just for a little bit. Finally I dragged myself out and got dressed in my usual guys jeans and a black wife beater. I looked down at my stomach and realized that soon it wasn't going to be as flat as it was now.

I quickly put on my eyeliner and left the bathroom to get some breakfast. When I got out there I noticed that Jay and Sean were now sitting at the kitchen table talking with Ellie. I stayed in the hallway for a little bit just listening to their conversation.

"Thanks a lot guys I really appreciated you guys coming in and ruining my one moment with Alex." I held my laughter in at how upset Jay seemed…he shouldn't worry because I'm going to talk to him later about us.

"Your welcome" both Sean and Ellie said to him. I then decided that I would go out and see what they were up to. Sean just nodded at me and Jay got up and hugged me…he smelled really good. I looked at the clock and noticed it was already 9 o'clock. Man I took a really long shower. I grabbed a bowl out of the cabinet and got myself some cereal.

"Come on Lexxi we have the doctor's appointment in 10 minutes." Jay looked at me as I was still eating my cereal. Hey it wasn't my fault I'm a slow eater.

"I'm coming I'm coming" I quickly put my bowl in the sink and grabbed my black hoody. I followed everyone out to the car and we piled into the orange Civic. When we got in I noticed how dirty his car really was, from the dirty clothes in the back seat to the moldy soda cans in the front. But I also noticed that it was just like Jay all of it was part of him in some way.

(Jay's Point of View)

As we all piled in my car I couldn't help but see how Alex was just looking at all of the stuff I had in there. I guess ever since we broke up I stopped caring how my car looked since I had no one to impress really. The drive to the health clinic was pretty fast and we still had 5 minutes till our appointment. Alex and Ellie went to sign in and Sean and me sat down and started flipping through the magazines. They came back as I was looking at pictures of a woman having a C-section. My eyes went wide as I was looking through them. Ellie and Alex looked at me and the book and busted out laughing. Alex was going to go through that?

"Alex…what's that?" I said pointing to some ball shaped object that looked like an alien was coming out of the chick's stomach.

"Jay…that's the baby's head…" she looked at me trying to hold in her laughter. I could already hear Sean and Ellie laughing beside us. Most likely I sounded really stupid…but hey its not any different then I usually sound. We waited out there for what felt like hours but it had probably only been like 20 minutes before me and Alex got called in.

"Hi you must be Jay and Alex, I'm Dr. Houston . so Alex you took a pregnancy test 5 days ago? (A/N: I think it was five days but I don't feel like going back and rereading all of this so bear with me here)" I looked to Lexxi who just nodded her head. "Okay then we are going to take a blood test to make sure that you are." The doctor went out of the room for a little bit and Alex was just looking around not really sure what do to and I think that she was actually scared. I reached out and grabbed her hand. When I squeezed her hand she looked at me and smiled…it always made me feel so good when she smiled at me.

The doctor came back before I could say anything to her. Dr. Houston set up everything with the needles and everything. I don't know why but I've always hated needles, that's why I could never really do any drugs that involved injecting it into your veins. But Alex knew this and squeezed my hand when the doctor but the needle in her arm…I love this girl so much…yea that sounds girlish but I don't care. After a couple seconds he was done and me and Lexxi were told that they would call us with the results in a couple of hours and we were free to go.

"you okay?" I asked Alex when we were out in the waiting room waiting for Ellie and Sean.

"yea I'm fine. How are you? I saw the way you went pale when the doctor took my blood" she teased and laughed. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her which only made her laugh more.

"yea, yea make fun of the guy who doesn't like needles" I think she was about to say something else but Sean and Ellie came out before she could. We all decided to go get something to eat from a fast food place before going back to Ellie and Alex's house. After having a little bit of bickering we let the girls pick and they chose McDonald's so while we were there Sean had an interview and they accepted him since they were still low on people.

An hour later we were back at the house in front of the TV just flipping through. And lucky me…Sean had the remote…god he could never pick one damn station. I eventually reached over and grabbed it from him and settled on a movie. All of them within a matter or a half an hour. I lasted a bit longer and fell asleep about an hour into the movie…I was woken up by the sound of a phone a while later. I think someone grabbed it because I heard voices but I wasn't really there, just as I started to drift back asleep I felt someone shaking me.

"Jay…Jay get your lazy ass up" Lexxi is just so nice isn't she?. "Jay that was the health clinic" that made me wake up…

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There you guys go…I hope it didn't suck too bad…let me know what you guys think…please?

Taryn


	14. Mary Jane

Hey guys. Heres the next chapter…I tried to make it longer…the song at the end is "Mary Jane" by Alanis Morissette…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point of View)

"the home pregnancy test was right" it really hit me then. I was having a baby at 16. How was I going to do it? What about money? What about raising it? I think it hit Jay too because he looked zoned out and in thought. We were really going to do this. But what if we fuck up? What if we give our kid a terrible life. What if were like our parents were? I'm so scared of messing things up. But I'm happy at the same time.

"really?" Jay finally said a couple of minutes later. I nodded my head and he stood up from the couch. He picked me up and started spinning me around. From the smile on his face I could tell he was happy. We're having a baby together and I loved him. We spun around for a couple seconds and then he set me down. I pulled him into Ellie's room so we could talk without disturbing Ellie and Sean who were still asleep.

"Jay. I love you" wow this was really hard to get out. I don't want to get hurt again but if I don't take the risk I might not really be happy again. "I think that I might be ready to trust you again. But if you so much as mess up once I'm done and this is your last chance."

"Lexxi I promise I won't cheat on you again. From now on I want what's best for you and this baby. And I want you to know that I really do love you and Amy and Emma meant nothing to me." he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned in and kissed me. When we were really starting to get into it I thought I heard giggling coming from the doorway. When I pulled away for a second I saw Ellie and Sean standing there. Yet again. Yet again they come in at the worst time. I walked over to Ellie and whispered in her ear, "do me an favor you and sean go watch so tv for a little while. I'll pay you back later." She nodded her head and dragged Sean away.

"now where were we?" Jay asked when I walked back over to him. He leaned in and we started kissing again. We tried to move towards the bed but instead ended up tripping over the bottom and he fell on top of me. "did I hurt you? Are you okay? What about the baby?" he was so cute when he got like that.

"relax babe you don't weigh that much. I'm fine don't worry about it." This time I kissed him and I started to take off his shirt when he stopped me.

"is it okay for the baby?" I shrugged my shoulders and he just gave me that look. "we aren't having sex until we know if its going to hurt the baby or not." He was not serious…Jay actually turning down sex? That was almost unheard of…

"Jay?" I looked him in the eye, was he really serious? "your serious aren't you?"

"yea I really am Alex. I told you I'm putting you and this baby first and I mean it. That means no sex until we know for sure."

(Jay's Point of View)

I'm actually proud of myself. I actually turned down sex for once. I don't think that's ever happened in my 17 years of living. Alex actually pouted at me when I told her that we had to know for sure first. She got so cute when she pouted.

"come on lets go out there before were tempted again." I pulled her up by her hand and we walked out in the living room to find Sean and Ellie making out on the couch. I looked at Alex and we both started to laugh…now who were the ones getting caught? Sean finally pulled himself away from Ellie long enough to see us standing there laughing at them, he gave me one of the dirtiest looks I think I've ever seen. Now he knows what its like when they walk in on me and Lexxi.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Alex put on a fake smile and said it really cheerfully, she went and sat down on the couch right in between them. Both of them rolled their eyes at her and stood up.

"Yo man its 4 o'clock…we have to be at work by 5. we better get going. So slip your girlfriend some tongue and lets go." Sean said to me as he kissed Ellie one last time and walked out of the door.

"alright Lexxi I'll come by tomorrow to pick you and Ellie up for school around 7:30 so be ready." I gave her a quick kiss and I was out the door with Sean. I really didn't want to leave but I know I had to. And tomorrow we have school…I wonder if Alex was planning on telling anyone about the pregnancy. I have no problem with her telling people but its completely up to her.

When me and Sean got back to my house I took a shower and got dressed. I was working until 11 tonight so I got off fairly easy since Sean was working the window and wouldn't get off till 1 when that closed. By the time we got in there the place was over crowded with people there getting their dinners. As fast as I could I went into the back and checked in then went to the cash register to begin my shift. Sean looked like he wasn't having that much trouble and I could see a couple of teenage girls were trying to flirt with him when he handed them their food but he just blew them off.

(Alex's point of View)

Once the guys left me and Ellie cleaned up the place and hung out. Afterward we decided to make some food…which was just ramen noodles but those things are good.

"Are you scared?" I asked her while we were eating. I was sure that I was scared as hell about the whole baby thing. It really did freak me out.

"I am, somewhat, but I'm happy too because I know that I love Sean and I'm hoping that he really does love me back. But I guess you could say I'm scared…I'm scared about when we actually have to give birth…its something so big coming out of something so small" she shuddered a little when she said that last bit and I started to laugh.

"you do have a point there. But that's what the drugs are for. I'm definitely getting something. There is no way possible I can put up with that much pain." It was the truth…no way in hell was I going through labor without drugs…

"yea I know what you mean. So what happened in that bedroom. On my bed?" Ellie gave me that look that meant she knew something had to of happened in there.

"Jay actually turned down sex." I watched as her jaw dropped and her eyes went wide and I had to laugh at her. "he said that when we found out if it hurt the baby we would see if we would have sex. And yes I'm just as shocked as you. Jay Hogart actually turned down sex. That has to be a first. And what was going on out here if I may ask?"

"nothing" I rolled my eyes at her and she shook her head at me. "Sean said the same thing Jay said." We both looked at each other and started laughing.

"Man there's either something wrong with me and you or with them. But I can't believe Sean Cameron actually said no to sex. They must really want what's best for our babies then." I can not believe that both of our boyfriends turned down sex. It's hard to believe that Jay and Sean are actually excited that me and Ellie are pregnant. "I think I'm going to bed since its already 12 and we have school tomorrow. And don't forget El, Jay's coming to pick us up at 7:30 so we have to be ready."

"Alright. Good night Alex." I nodded my head at her and headed out to the living room so I could go to sleep. I slipped on my head phones and just listened to the words of the song…

_What's the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day  
As you place the don't disturb sign on the door  
You lost your place in line again, what a pity  
You never seem to want to dance anymore_

_It's a long way down  
On this roller coaster  
The last chance streetcar  
Went off the track  
And you're on it_

_I hear you're counting sheep again Mary Jane  
What's the point of trying to dream anymore  
I hear you're losing weight again Mary Jane  
Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for_

_Well it's full speed baby  
In the wrong direction  
There's a few more bruises  
If that's the way  
You insist on heading_

_Please be honest Mary Jane  
Are you happy  
Please don't censor your tears_

_You're the sweet crusader  
And you're on your way  
You're the last great innocent  
And that's why I love you_

_So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfish  
Worry not about the cars that go by  
All that matters Mary Jane is your freedom  
Keep warm my dear, keep dry_

_Tell me  
Tell me  
What's the matter Mary Jane..._

_

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There you guys go…hope it didn't suck to badly…review…please?_

Taryn


	15. Going To School

Hey guys…sorry I haven't updated lately but I've been having writers block and I've got a new story out. The song at the end of this is "Simple Truth" by Tsunami Bomb…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Jay's Point of View)

by the time I got home from work I was exhausted. I must have slept from the time I got back until 7. And that's a long time for me…man I really wasn't used to having to work. When I got up I quickly got dressed, grabbed something to eat, and brushed my teeth. Then I remembered that I was suppose to go pick up Alex and Ellie. I noticed Sean was still asleep on the couch when I walked out there and I yelled at him we had to go. We climbed into my Civic and made our way to the girl's house. I was about to beep the horn but I decided against it and instead walked up to the door and knocked.

"Hey. Come on in for a minute I'm almost ready I just have to grab my book bag," Alex looked beautiful, she was wearing the usual wife beater and guys pants but she still looked beautiful. Sean was still sitting in the front seat when we all walked back to the Civic. I gave him a look and he knew exactly what I meant. He got out and went into the back seat with Ellie. I love how I can just get people to do what I wanted without even having to say a word. The ride to the school was fun, we spent the whole time joking around. When we got out of the car it was just like it was a couple months ago, I draped my arm around Alex's shoulders and Sean did the same to Ellie. We walked in like we owned the place…it was great to be back.

"Bye babe" I said to Alex as we got near her class room. "I'll meet you here after the bell rings okay?" she nodded her head and gave me a quick kiss before going in. As I started to walk away Amy came up to me. what the hell does she want. "I'm done with the ravine."

"come on baby you know you want to meet me down there" she tried to give me a cute little look but to me she just looked stupid.

"I'm with Alex. and no way in hell am I fucking that up again. So go find some other pathetic dude that will sleep with you Amy." I walked away before she could fit anything else in…I don't really see why I wanted to get with Amy to begin with now that I look at her. I mean don't get me wrong she's pretty and all but she is definitely one of the biggest sluts I've ever met. I got to math class with a little time to spare so I actually opened the book and started to look through the stuff we were doing.

"Jay Hogart? What are you doing in here…early?" Mr. Armstrong looked at me with wide eyes when he walked into the room.

"Yea. I'm trying to bring my grades up so I can pass." He just nodded at me and I went back to what I was doing. Slowly the class was filling up and I understood some of the things that we were doing for once. After that I went and met up with Alex like I said I would. She was just walking out of the classroom when I got there so I ran up behind her and started to tickle her sides.

"Jay!" she screamed when she realized it was me. I kissed her and got dirty looks from the preppy bitches that are in her class. Instead of saying something to them I just rolled my eyes and started walking with Alex towards the shop class.

(Alex's Point of View)

Me and Jay walked into the classroom and sat at our usual table. I was waiting for Amy to come in, so I could see if she would try to sit with us. She walked into the classroom and went and sat with some guy in the back…stupid bitch…didn't even have the balls to come up to me. I wonder now why I ever was her friend.

"Come on Lexxi. Lexxi? Lexxi? Alex!" I noticed Jay waving his hand in front of my face then. "Zone out much" he said before laughing.

"Shut up. What are we doing?" he then proceeded in telling me about how we were suppose to work on the engine the whole period. Which basically meant I hung out and watched as Jay and Sean fixed it. I really should be failing this class but since I had them in here they did all the work and I just put my name on it. But then again it was a lot easier that way because I know if I even tried to help I would fuck up whatever they were trying to do.

"Alex come on the bell rang like a minute ago lets get out of here," wow I really was zoning out like crazy today…and I was so tired. Suddenly I got the urge that I had to puke and I ran out and into the girl's bathroom. I just barely made it to the toilet in time for my whole breakfast from this morning to come up. Just great, I actually eat something for a change and it all comes back up anyway. Finally I wiped my mouth off with toilet paper, rinsed it out with water, and walked out. "are you okay?" a very concerned looking Jay asked when I stepped out. He was right there waiting for me…he was so sweet.

"I'm fine. Just a little morning sickness." Up ahead of us I saw Emma Nelson hanging all over Sean. Man this chick needed to learn to back off of guys that had girlfriends. "Green Peace what the hell do you think your doing?" Sean looked at me and I could tell he was silently thanking me that I came over.

"Who asked you Alex?" My god this girl was asking to get punched. Luckily Jay was behind me holding me back, whispering stuff in my ear about how I shouldn't do it because of the baby and that he loved me.

"What are you trying to do now huh? You trying to get another guy that has a girlfriend to fuck you? Why don't you fuck off and go find someone else." I had escaped from Jay's hold on me and I was in Emma's face. I was just waiting for an excuse to hit her.

"Can't you see that me and Sean were having a conversation. But then again you mustn't know what that is since you apparently weren't enough for your 'boyfriend'." I took a deep breath…I can't hit her….I can't hit her. "What are you going to do? You going to hit me? Go ahead and try." I was so close to swinging but Jay came up from behind me wrapping his arms around me.

"Yea Emma you may have fucked him but who's he with now?" Jay started to whisper stuff in my ear again but I just ignored him. I was to focused on what Emma was going to say.

"do you want to know what he said to me after we had sex? He told me that I was a hell of a lot better than you ever were" She gave me a little smug little smirk that I just wanted to beat off her face.

"You know what bitch" I couldn't take it anymore, I swung at her and we started going all out in the middle of the hallway. I punched her in her nose and she leaned back wiping some of the blood off. Then she slapped me and I just looked at her and laughed before I punched her again. She kicked me in my stomach and slammed by head on her knee when I doubled over in pain. The pain was so great…something was wrong…something had to be. I felt Jay by my side telling me to please wake up.

"I'm sorry Jay" was all I remember saying before all I saw was complete darkness.

(Jay's Point Of View)

No this can't be happening. She has to be okay…she has to be. I can feel tears rolling down my cheeks as I look down at her tiny figure. I knew something wasn't right, Alex could definitely hold her own and she could usually take a kick in the stomach. But now that she was pregnant I wasn't so sure…what was going to happen? Was my baby going to be okay? Was Alex going to be okay?

"Sean go call an ambulance! Something isn't right" I yelled at Sean, who went running in the direction of the office. I then noticed that Emma was still standing there. "Emma get the fuck out of here before I may want to swing at you" I watched her run off. I was left alone with Alex in my arms…"please Alex please be okay. I love you. Please wake up. I love you and this baby way to much" I then started to sing a song that I knew Alex loved…maybe that would make her wake up…

_We could run away  
Leave behind anything paper  
Not knowing where we're going to stay  
When there's no limits.  
You're part of me, it's so easy to see the simple truth  
When I'm in your arms, I feel safe from harm and sorrow too  
You're part of me, it's so easy to see the simple truth  
But most of all, nothing couldn't be solved when I'm with you_

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There you guys go…I tried to make this chapter longer…please review…sorry if it sucks…

Taryn


	16. Nymphetamine

Hey guys…this chapter is told in not only Alex and Jay's point of views but Ellie and Sean's too. I don't really like this one too much…but I didn't know what else to write. And I decided to add a song to this chapter its "Nymphetamine" by Cradle of Filth…sorry if it sucks…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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_Lead to the river  
Midsummer, I waved  
A 'V' of black swans  
On with hope to the grave  
All through Red September  
With skies fire-paved  
I begged you appear  
Like a thorn for the holy ones_

(Ellie's Point of View)

I walked out of my class a few minutes late because I had to talk about extra credit assignments with Miss Kwan when I did I saw Jay on the ground holding something. As I got closer I saw that he was holding Alex. What had happened?

"Jay what happened to her?" I ran up as fast as I could. She looked so pale and it looked like she had been clutching her stomach when she passed out.

"Emma kicked her in the stomach" No that bitch didn't. I don't care if I'm pregnant I'm getting that bitch. I wasn't usually the type to fight but when it came to my friends hell yea I would. Suddenly I grew furious, I went to go find Emma. On my way I ran into Manny so I asked her if she had seen Emma, she said that she had Media Immersions that period. So I went to the classroom and waited outside of the door until the period was over. Emma walked out with JT and Liberty, I grabbed her by her shoulders and slammed her against the wall.

"Ellie what the hell is your problem?" Before she could say anything I punched her as hard as I could in the stomach.

"Hey Emma tell me how it feels to be hit in the stomach? Or would you rather have me kick you like you did to Alex?" I punched her again and I didn't feel remorseful at all. She deserved it. But then I heard Sean calling me from behind and he pulled me away. Not even bothering to explain we met Jay out front where we drove over to the hospital.

_Cold was my soul  
Untold was the pain  
I faced when you left me  
A rose in the rain  
So I swore to the razor  
That never, enchained  
Would your dark nails of faith  
Be pushed through my veins again_

(Sean's Point of View)

It shocked the hell out of me when I saw Ellie punching Emma. Ellie had always been more of a pacifist then a fighter. I couldn't believe that Emma and Alex got into a fight to begin with. And I felt horrible because it was basically my fault. If only I had walked away instead of saying yes when Emma asked if we could talk. God damn it. I feel so guilty, if it wasn't for me Alex wouldn't be in the hospital and Jay wouldn't be in the chair next to me crying his eyes out. He really did love her. The doctor then walked over to where we were sitting and asked if any of us were her legal guardians.

"Her parents kicked her out. she lives in an apartment with a friend" Jay responded. "But I'm her boyfriend. And I'm the father of her baby" the doctor nodded and told Jay to follow him. I hope it's good news…

_Six feet deep is the incision  
In my heart, that barless prison  
Discolours all with tunnel vision  
Sunsetter  
Nymphetamine  
Sick and weak from my condition  
This lust, a vampyric addiction  
To her alone in full submission  
None better  
Nymphetamine  
_

(Jay's Point of View)

I couldn't stop myself from shaking when I was following the doctor towards Alex's room. I swear if she or this baby aren't okay I don't know what I'm going to do. I was really looking forward to being a dad. Dr. Michaels asked me what my name was and I muttered "Jay" and he just looked at me with sorrowful eyes.

"Jay…Alex is okay but we aren't sure about the baby. We are going to keep her overnight to see if anything's wrong. Right now she's sleeping but you can go in and see her If you want." I nodded my head and walked in. She was so beautiful, even without makeup, and in a hospital gown she still was. I pulled the chair up beside her bed and grabbed her hand.

"Alex. babe you have to be okay. You and this baby have to be okay. I don't know what I'll do without you. I love you so much." I looked from her face to the ground and just started talking more to myself then to anyone. "what is this my punishment? Is this what I get for fucking up? But why her? Why couldn't something happen to me? It was my fault not hers. Don't take this out on her!" By now the tears are streaming down my face and I've given up on trying to hide it.

_Bared on your tomb  
I am a prayer for your loneliness  
And would you ever soon  
Come above unto me?  
For once upon a time  
From the binds of your lowliness  
I could always find  
The right slot for your sacred key_

_Sunsetter  
Nymphetamine  
Sick and weak from my condition  
This lust, a vampyric addiction  
To her alone in full submission  
None better  
Nymphetamine  
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine  
Nymphetamine girl  
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine  
My nymphetamine girl_

(Alex's Point of View)

I heard almost all of what Jay was saying but I kept quiet until he was done. I squeezed his hand and I don't think I've ever seen him jump that high. "hey babe…I love you too. What's going on" I looked around and noticed that I was laying in a hospital bed. The last thing I remember is Emma kicking me in my stomach.

"you got kicked in the stomach and you passed out. they aren't sure about the baby yet so they're keeping you over night to make sure nothings wrong. I'm so glad your okay." I used my hand and wiped away some of his tears. I think I've only seen Jay cry once in our entire time of dating…

"don't worry you couldn't get rid of me even if you tried. So stop worrying. So Emma kicked me? I can't believe the little bitch actually had the balls to do that." For someone as tiny as her she really could kick.

"yea and from the sounds of it Ellie found out and went and started punching her." Ellie? Ellie Nash? She got into a fight? I never thought I'd hear such a thing. But that just goes to show you, never judge Ellie, she can be full of surprises. I tried to sit up and felt a sharp pain on my side. I lifted up the blankets and revealed a black blue mark all along the front of my stomach. "Careful. Green Peace left a pretty big mark." He lightly traced his fingers along it which made me giggle since I had always been so ticklish. It wasn't till then that I noticed the doctor standing in the doorway.

_Six feet deep is the incision  
In my heart, that barless prison  
Discolours all with tunnel vision  
Wracked with your charm  
I am circled like prey  
Back in the forest  
Where whispers persuade  
More sugar trails  
More white lady laid  
Than pillars of salt  
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)_

(Jay's Point of View)

Alex scared the shit out of me when she squeezed my hand. I was so lost in thought that I completely forgot where I was. Then she looked at me with those beautiful eyes and it made me smile a little. The doctor looked back and forth between us. He had one of those emotionless masks on. Where you couldn't figure out whether what he had to say was good or bad. I hope that its good, but I haven't had much luck like that in my past.

"Alex, Jay…We have the results back…"

_Fold to my arms_

_Hold their mesmeric sway  
And dance to the moon  
As we did in those golden days  
Christening stars  
I remember the way  
We were needle and spoon  
Mislaid in the burning hay

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_

There it goes…now please go review…thank you :)

Taryn


	17. Results

Hey guys…Sorry I haven't updated in a week. I had a bit of writers block and laziness mixed with a bad weekend. But anyway…if your reading this you should go read my new one-shot fic "Staring down the barrel of a 45"...okay heres the next chapter…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point of View)

"Alex, Jay…we have the results back…I'm happy to say that the baby is fine. We are just going to keep you to make sure there's no trouble." My smile had to have been so big. Thank god I didn't lose the baby. "I'll leave you two alone for a little while" the doctor gave us one last smile and walked out of the room shutting the door behind him. He couldn't have been out of the door for more then two seconds before Jay and me started kissing.

"The baby's fine and your good. Minus the bruise on your stomach. But everything's good." He had his signature smirk on his face that I always loved. I scooted over and let him climb into the bed with me.

"I'm so happy Jay. If anything would have happened to this baby Emma Nelson would be feeling a lot of pain right now." I kissed him one last time before I laid my head on his chest and slowly drifted off. That had always been my favorite place to lay my head, I could hear his heart beating and I could feel him taking in breaths and letting them out. I knew that he was asleep when his breaths were steady and he stopped rubbing my back with his hand.

I'm guessing that we fell asleep for a little while because we were woken up by some bitchy nurse saying it was against hospital policy that we were sleeping on the bed together and shit like that. She then insisted on kicking Jay out and telling him he wasn't allowed in here anymore.

"Bye babe..." and he then whispered in my ear. "I'll be back when this bitch gets off her shift. Love you" I watched as he walked out and turned around and winked at me. I laughed and the nurse gave me a dirty look.

"You need your rest. You should go to sleep." She must really not like me very much from the way she sounded. She had that whole 'I'm better than you' attitude going too.

"I was sleeping just fine until you came in here." I laid back down on the bed and just kept my eyes locked on hers.

"Yea well we don't need teen girls getting pregnant in here. Now do we?" I snorted and she shot me a death glare. I'm guessing that she was just a nurse to check up and make sure patients are okay or something because how could she not know I'm pregnant?

"Just to let you know I'm pregnant already so there was no need to kick my boyfriend out of the room. Now if you'd excuse me I'm tired. Good bye" the nurse gave me one last dirty look and walked out. I had started to drift off when I realized someone was sitting on the chair next to my bed.

"Hey Alex. I was wondering when you were going to notice me here. So how are you feeling" Ellie looked really worried about what I was going to say…I'm guessing that Jay didn't tell them that the baby was fine.

"Hey. I'm good. The baby's fine. And now how are you doing? I hear that you beat up Emma…" I noticed that she looked down and started to blush a little. "Is Ellie Nash blushing?"

"Okay so I may have punched her a couple times…" Ellie sounded a little guilty about it.

"Trust me I'm happy you did. But it's not good for either of us. As soon as we have these babies I say we kick her ass." She shook her head at me and laughed. I had every intention after this baby was born to cause Emma pain. "So what was it like to punch the shit out of Nature Girl?" Just as Ellie was about to answer the door open and in walked Jay and Sean.

"Hey babe, the nurse just left so I thought it would be okay if I came back in." I moved over on the bed so he would have a spot to lie down on again. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Do you want to know the reason why she kicked you out?" Everyone just sort of looked at me and nodded their heads. "She said something alone the lines of her not wanting me to get pregnant. You should have seen the look on her face when I told her I already was." We talked about things like we normally did for about twenty minutes when the doctor came in and said that visiting hours were over. Everyone gave me a hug and said they would come get me tomorrow. I gave Jay a quick kiss and they all walked out.

(Jay's Point of View)

I'm so happy the baby's okay…I can tell Lexxi is too. Who would have ever thought that Alex and me would be happy about having a baby together? When I walked out of the room with the doctor I stopped him for a second. "Is it okay if I stay the night with her?"

"Yes. You know most teenage boys leave when their girlfriends get pregnant but I'm happy to see that you didn't. Go ahead, I can tell you really love her." He gave me a smile and walked away. This doctor was a lot different then the nurse was towards Alex and me. Alex was lying on the bed looking at her bruise when I got back into the room.

"Jay what are you doing back in here I thought you had to leave?" Once again she moved over and offered me a place to lay down.

"I talked to the doctor and he said I could stay the night with you." I climbed in the bed and wrapped my arms around her. "I love you so much Lexxi…" I kissed her forehead and watched and she fell asleep. She always looks peaceful whenever she sleeps. After a little bit I fell asleep to. And yet again in the morning the bitchy nurse came in and woke me up.

"Didn't I tell you, you weren't allowed in here?" She looked like she was really pissed, but for some reason this amused me.

"And didn't I tell you that I was already pregnant so there was no need to kick him out?" I didn't realized until then that Alex was awake. She didn't seem to be in a good mood at all. Luckily the doctor came in before they started to argue.

"Hey you two. Alex you are allowed to go home in about an hour. We just have to get everything off of you and then you'll be good to go. Come on nurse, leave those two alone." They both walked out of the room and I laughed at the nurse when she looked back at us with anger in her eyes.

"Thank god it's only an hour." We laid there for a little while but then I climbed out of the bed to go take a quick trip to the bathroom. It wasn't until then did I realize that I was supposed to be in school today. Oh well who gives a shit anyway? When I got back into her room, Alex was fast asleep on the bed. I looked at the clock and saw that it had already been 45 minutes since the doctor had been in which meant that they were coming back soon.

"Alex come on you have to get up." She gave me a grunt and rolled over. "Alex!" Again she grunted and pulled the blankets over her head. "I'll tickle you. Don't make me do it" still all she did was grunt. "Ok then" I squeezed her sides a little and she jumped up.

"I'm up. I'm up. Okay?" she gave me one of her evil glares. I know how much she hates being woken up especially right after she falls asleep. Not even a minute later the doctor came in and unhooked her IV and told her that she was free to go. All she had to do was sign the papers. After all that was done they told her that it was hospital policy to wheel a patient out to their car.

"Oh no…I'm not crippled I can walk out to the car." This was going to be a tough on to get by her.

"Alex will you please just do what they say so we can get you home as fast as possible?" We went back and forth for a little while arguing over it but eventually I won and she let them wheel her out to my car. I helped her in and drove back to Ellie's.

"Home sweet home" Alex said as I helped her into the house. I led her over to the couch where I made her lay down. I told her to watch some TV while I fixed us up something to eat. Since I wasn't the greatest cook I quickly made some soup and brought it out to her. We basically laid on the couch the rest of the day just watching TV and enjoying each others company. It felt really good to have her there next to me…and she seemed happy.

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Do you guys really think that I'd be mean enough to kill off Alex's baby? I could never do that…haha…okay maybe I could but I'm feeling nice…ok…now go review…please…thanks…

Taryn


	18. Doctor Visits

Hey guys, sorry its been so long since I've updated. I've had major writers block and I would have to thank Amanda (SandEforever) for helping me with ideas…and I know that this chapter sucks…its just filler…I promise more drama later…and I'm sorryits so short….

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

* * *

**One Month later**

(Alex's Point of View)

"Jay get your ass out here we have the doctor's appointment in fifteen minutes and we can't be late." I was going to kill him; I swear sometimes it takes longer for him to get ready than me. "Jay! Hurry up!" that's it…he wants to take forever then I get to drive. "You've got five minutes before I'm leaving without you." I grabbed his keys, ran out the door, and started his car. I knew he wasn't going to be happy but since when have I cared? He had 4 minutes left. 3 minutes left. 2 minutes left. He burst out of the door and looked out me like I was crazy.

"Lexxi get out of the drivers seat" I shook my head no. "Alex..." I still shook my head. "Fine." I kept my laughter in as he got into the passengers seat defeated. The drive to the doctor's office didn't take that long. "I can't believe I let you drive…"

"Hey I'm not that bad of a driver." I knew in truth I really was but I wasn't going to admit it to anyone.

"Alex you almost ran over 2 people, that were on the side walk, and you almost crashed into a car. I think that classifies you as a bad driver. But it's okay because I still love you" Okay so I might have slipped up a couple times and almost hit a couple things but I didn't actually hit them that's all that matters. We waited in the waiting room for about 10 minutes when we were called back.

"So Alex how have you been feeling? Any morning sickness?" The doctor was the same as the one I had before, which I thought was good. I shook my head no. "Okay then, today we are going to do an ultrasound and see how your baby's doing." I giggled a little as the doctor put the gel on my stomach. "Sorry if it's a little cold" I looked at the screen as Dr. Houston started to point out things. "We think that you're about 3 months along Alex. There's the baby's head," She pointed to a tiny little dot on the screen that you could barely see and it's hard to believe that, that little thing is going to grow into an actual baby.

"That's really the baby?" I looked at Jay who had the look of confusion on his face…I'm guessing he didn't see what the doctor was pointing out. Then Dr. Houston started to point out the arms, legs, and stomach and I think that Jay finally realized how small the baby really was. Sometimes he can be so stupid. "Oh yea…Dr. Houston we were wondering if it was okay, if we…you know…have sex…will it hurt the baby?

"You guys should be okay to have sex for now. But later when Alex is starting to get bigger I'm not so sure if you guys will want to. All right that's about all for now. The baby looks like it's doing good and you seem to be all right. Now you should have an appointment in about a month to see how you're progressing. I'll see you two then. Bye" I watched the doctor walk out of the room and I grabbed a paper towel and wiped off my stomach of the gel. Then Jay and me walked out and left. I was nice and I let him drive us back home (plus I doubt he trusted me with his precious car anyway).

"You want something to eat?" I realized then that Jay had to be at work in a half an hour and we hadn't really eaten anything all day. He just shook his head at me and grabbed my hand pulling me into the bedroom.

"I know something better." I laughed at how excited Jay was…I would admit I'm proud that he lasted 3 months without any sex. Or at least he claims he hasn't had any. We started to kiss, which led to us making out. We were laying down and I pulled his shirt off and started to kiss his neck, the one place I knew made him weak in his knees. I heard what sounded like the door opening and closing and then Ellie and Sean's voices. "Shit." I heard Jay mutter as he rolled off of me. I was going to kill Ellie and Sean. I pouted at Jay who gave me an apologetic look. "Don't worry babe we are going to have sex eventually"

"Okay now what was going on in this room?" Sean and Ellie looked back and forth between Jay and me. It wasn't until then that I noticed that Jay hadn't put his shirt back on. "We'll be…out watching TV…" Sean just looked at Jay and back at me and just shook his head at us before walking out.

(Jay's Point of View)

From the look on Sean's face when he walked out of the room I'm guessing that he got pictures of Alex and me in his head. Why is it that whenever me and her get close, even the tiniest bit, they come in or something happens? I picked my shirt up off the floor disappointed yet again. I mean a guy like me can only last so long without having sex.

"Think about it like this Jay. The longer we wait the more enjoyable it will be when we have it. Oh hell who am I kidding…"I laughed as she admitted that she wanted to do it as much as I did but both of us had more respect to Sean and Ellie then to mess around in their bed…at least when they're home.

"Come on let's go out there with them and watch some TV" I helped her up from the bed and we walked out there together. When we got out there Sean and Ellie were basically going at it on the couch.

"Hey. I'm suppose to sleep there tonight…" Alex just looked at them, they were too involved with each other they didn't even notice us. "How about we go into the kitchen?" Before I could answer she walked in there and opened the refrigerator. Pregnant girls sure were hungry…Shit I have to leave for work.

"Babe I'm going to work. I have to work until closing tonight so I'll just pick you up for school tomorrow morning okay?" I rushed over and gave her a quick kiss.

"Bye. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you"

"I love you too" And then I unfortunately had to go to work. I swear if it wasn't for Alex and our baby I would have quit after the first couple days. The money wasn't that bad since I worked a lot of overtime now to save up for when the baby does come but I just hated working. But I think that as much as I hate it, it's definitely worth it for Alex.

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There it is…now go review…please? 

Taryn


	19. Is Jay Back To His Old Ways?

Hey…heres the next chapter…hope you enjoy…and by the way I would like to dedicate this chapter to Amanda because she's awesome and she helped me with the idea…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point of View)

Sean and Ellie basically screwed on the couch and fell asleep so I got to sleep in the bedroom. I hadn't slept on a real bed in more than a month…let's just say it felt awesome. I woke up the next morning and got ready for school before I woke the happy couple up I finished what I needed to do in the bathroom, then got them up. Jay was running a little late so I had some extra time to get something to eat. I was hoping that it wouldn't come back up later but they say that morning sickness stops after the first trimester. Yes I had been reading all the different pregnancy books. When we pulled up to the school something wasn't right. Instead of the usual dirty looks and people turning and walking the other way, they were giving us questioning looks whispering to each other. Something was definitely up…

"Alex can I talk to you?" It had to be something serious if Paige was willing to talk to me in school. I nodded at her and quickly told Jay that I would be back in a minute. "Alex…do you notice people looking at you and Jay funny today?" I nodded again. "Alright I'm just going to cut to the chase here because I don't want you to hear it from someone else. Emma is going around telling people that Jay got her pregnant." I didn't even know what to say to that. So I turned around and walked away. I went into the washroom to clear my head and just guess who was in there too?

"Stay the hell away from Jay, slut" She gave me an amused look and shook her head. Does she not get that Jay doesn't like her.

"What's the matter Alex? You pissed because your boyfriend got me pregnant?" I'm not going to hit her…it won't be good for the baby…and that didn't go over so well last time.

"Bitch stop fucking telling people that Jay got your pregnant because I know for a fact that you would never fuck you again."

"Please Alex, What do you think he does every time he tells you that he's going to work? Yea that's right he comes to me. I guess that you still can't fulfill is needs now can you Alex?" I clenched my teeth and balled my fists but I wasn't going to hit her, she wasn't worth it.

"Just remember what I said slut" I walked out of the washroom…I knew that homeroom started in about 5 minutes so I just went there instead of going to find Jay. Was Green Peace telling the truth? Did Jay really do that to me…again? Part of me wants to believe that its not true but there's still that voice in the back of my head telling me that he did it once, he'll do it again. First period went by way to fast and I didn't want to have to face Jay so I skipped Shop and sat in the washroom just thinking. I suddenly realized that it was a good possibility that Emma was telling the truth.

If Jay really did get her pregnant that would mean that they did it when we were together because if she were farther along than me then she would be showing more, and I definitely had a bump that I had been hiding by wearing big shirts and Jay's hoodies. The bell rang and I went to class. After this I had Jay in the rest of my classes…just great. When I did get out of third period and went to fourth I looked in the door and saw Jay and Emma talking. My guess was that he didn't hear about what she was telling people because he was never one to listen to gossip. I waited outside until Emma came out before I went in, and when she walked out she just gave me a little smirk and walked away.

Instead of talking my usual seat next to Jay I sat in the back by myself. My computer wasn't on so I turned it on and when I looked up I saw Jay giving me a weird look. He started to get up like he was going to come to the back where I was but Simpson came in before he could. I didn't really pay attention the whole class, all it was, was useless shit that I wasn't going to need to know anyway. I ran out of the room when the bell rang before Jay could catch up with me, I didn't even want to see him right now. I held my tears in the best I could but a few stray ones rolled down my cheeks as I walked down the hall as fast as I could. I walked by Ellie who noticed this and ran after me.

"Alex!" I heard her call after me but I didn't stop, she did eventually catch up though and she pulled me into the girl's washroom. "Alex what's wrong? What happened"?

"Jay fucked Emma and now she says she's pregnant." Ellie looked pissed as hell; instead of saying anything to me she walked out of the washroom. Shit she was going after Jay. "Ellie don't." I chased after her but she was going to fast. "Ellie Please!" From the desperation in my voice she could tell I was serious.

"Alex you have to talk to him about it. " I just sort of nodded at her. "Alex promise me you will" I just nodded again. "I have to go to class. I'll see you in lunch." I went to class where I had to sit next to Jay. He tried to talk to me but I didn't say a word to him. As we were walking out I could tell that he was starting to get pissed with me. In the hallway he stopped me so I couldn't by and I had to face him.

"What the fuck did I do Lexxi!" I've always hated getting into fights with him because it reminded me of how mom and Chad used to always fight.

"Why don't you go talk to fucking Green Peace? Huh Jay? You guys seem to be doing a lot of 'talking' lately. I can't believe you Jay. I'm done with this shit. Fuck you, stay the hell away form me. And you can keep your fucking money me and _my_ baby will be fine without it." I didn't even notice until then that everyone in the hallway was looking at us. So much for not letting anyone know I'm pregnant. "Give your money to Green Peace because I sure as hell don't want it anymore."

Before he could say anything else I walked away. I went to the nurse and told her that I wasn't feeling good so she let me go home. I can't believe Jay got Emma pregnant…that's all I could think about as I walked back to mine and Ellie's house. As I walked into the house I had a great idea that would make me feel a whole lot better. I took all of Jay's stuff that he had left here (his favorite hat, a couple shirts, some hoodies, a pair of pants, and the hoodie I was wearing of his) and I threw it out into the middle of the road. I watched as the cars ran over all of it and I just laughed to myself. By the time I had gotten all of his stuff out there I saw Jay's civic pulling up. I guess he saw all of his clothes in the road…I locked the door and sat on the couch.

"Alex. I know you're in there. Alex! Open the damn door. What is all of my stuff doing out in the middle of the road? Lexxi…please open the door. Can we please talk?" Let me think about this? Do I really want to talk to him? Hell no…I grabbed my CD case and started flipping through them I eventually settled on My Ruin…I put the CD in the stereo and blasted it as loud as it could go…

_Bless me darling, and I will forgive you_

_Eloquent and full of grace_

_You speak in tongues behind my back_

_A dry lung vocal martyr_

_I will suffer for my lover_

_I will suffer for his sins_

_I will suffer for my lover_

_I am suffering for him_

_Torture me with timelessness_

_Worship my fist with every kiss_

_Resurrection of my pain_

_Drag me down our memory lane_

_Introduce me to devotion_

_Leave me numb with no emotion_

_Stars surround you when_

_I feel you__You look better when I cannot see... you_

_Honesty... looks good on you_

_But liar should be your tattoo_

(Jay's Point of View)

When Alex wouldn't open the door I leaned against it and slid down to the ground. I didn't know what to do…why don't she just listen to me? What did I do?

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I hope this chapter didn't suck to badly…go review now! Please?…

Taryn


	20. On My Own

Hey guys…heres the next chapter…I was feeling very nice and I've had a new burst of inspiration…hope you enjoy…and if you are reading this go read The Accident by Amanda because its awesome…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point of View)

I heard the door close and in walked Ellie and Sean. "Do you want to tell me why Jay is sleeping on the steps and all of his clothes are out in the middle of the road?" I knew that Sean wasn't happy about me living here ever since he moved back in about two weeks ago.

"Why don't you go talk to him about Emma and their kid?" The look on Sean's face told me that he didn't hear any of the rumors going around the school. "Let me spell it out for you Sean, Jay slept with Emma and now she's pregnant too. That's why he's out there, because I locked him out." I had been about an hour or so since I had locked the door and I didn't really think that he would still be out there…but then again I don't really care. I told him that he had one more chance and he blew it, that's his fault not mine. I still don't get what Emma has that I don't…am I not enough for him? Is it because she's prettier then me? Is it because I'm starting to get fat now (which might I add isn't my fault)? What is it?

"Alex come on lets go out and get something to eat" Ellie grabbed my arm before I could object and dragged me out of the house. "I don't really feel like walking. Do you?" I shook my head. "Okay then I need your help. You lift Jay's arm up and I'm going to grab the keys to the Civic out of his pocket." I lightly grabbed Jay's arm and pulled it up a little bit so Ellie could slip her hand into his pocket, she dug into it and retrieved the keys. I gently let his arm back down and we ran out and jumped into the car. "That was awesome" Ellie said as we drove off laughing hysterically.

"Ellie why do we wear big shirts and hoodies to hide our pregnancies?" I asked after driving for a little bit. The truth was I could care less If people knew I was pregnant or not at this point.

"I don't know. But I'm sick of hiding it. I think that starting tomorrow we should show off that we are. I mean neither of us are ashamed right?" She did have a point there. I pulled into a diner that looked like they would have good food. "Hey Alex I have an idea…" She had the mischievous smile on her face and I knew she was up to something. "How about to get Jay back for getting Emma pregnant we hide his car in the woods somewhere. We can call a cab to come get us after we do."

"I think that's possibly one of the best ideas I've ever heard. Lets do it." We hadn't gotten out of the car yet so I just turned it around and stepped on the gas pedal and drove off towards an area of woods that I knew really well. When I pulled into the woods I got on a trail that looked like many cars had been on it, I drove for quite a way's before cutting the engine and getting out. "This is a good spot. There's a road not to far from here that way" I pointed towards Ellie's direction of the car and we started walking. After walking for maybe 20 minutes we came out to a road and saw that an intersection wasn't to far away so we walked there and Ellie used her cell phone to call us a cab.

"you do realize that Jay is probably going to kill us when he finds out what we did with his car right?"

"trust me I realize it and I don't care." The cab came and we climbed in. The drive back to the house went by relatively quick. Me and Ellie split the cost of the cab when we pulled up to the house. I noticed that Jay wasn't out on the steps anymore which meant he was probably in the house. I opened the door and of course theres Jay sitting on the couch with Sean.

"Where the fuck is my car" The anger in his voice made me very happy…I know that sounds very mean but it's the truth.

"Have fun trying to find it." I tossed the keys at his head and walked into the kitchen. Instead of leaving like I hoped he would, he followed in there.

"what the hell is this Lexxi?"

"I don't know Jay why don't you go talk to Emma about it? Or for that matter just go be with her. I know you just love her. You know what? I don't need you. Go be with her skanky ass because I don't want you" In reality I really did want him but I wasn't going to let him know that.

"I'm done with this shit Alex. Fuck it, maybe I will go be with Emma. You think that I want you either? I could get so many better chicks then you!" That was a low blow…

"Fine then go be with them then!" I walked out of the kitchen and into the bathroom slamming the door shut. I heard him stomp out of the house and when I didn't hear the engine running on his car I remembered that me and Ellie hid it. I sat on the toilet and started sobbing. I can't believe that he said that to me…I think that's the worst thing he's ever said to me before. I mean we've gotten into little fights but nothing this big before. There was suddenly banging on the door and I figured that it would probably be Ellie. I got up from my seat and opened the door, and just as I thought there stood Ellie.

"Alex…me and Sean heard everything." This made the tears come even more. I leaned against the bathroom wall and slid to the ground. I didn't even bother to wipe away my tears. Ellie crouched down next to me and pulled me into a hug. "Shh it's okay Alex. Me and Sean are here for you. You don't need him." We sat there like that for so long I lost track of time. Ellie was possibly one of the only people I've ever really let in and actually cried in front of. I eventually fell asleep I'm guessing because when I woke up I was on the couch and tucked under a blanket. Unfortunately we had school tomorrow and since I missed half the day today I figured I would go. I grabbed a quick snack and laid back down. The next morning I woke up feeling a lot better then I did the night before. Luckily I hadn't woken up to late and I got to take a quick shower. I straightened my hair and threw on a pair of sweat pants and a wife beater, I was reaching for one of my big hoodies but then remembered that me and Ellie were showing off our pregnancies.

"You look good Alex" Ellie said as she walked out of the bedroom fully dressed, she too was wearing sweat pants and a tighter shirt. Since we didn't have the money to buy maternity pants yet we had to wear the sweat pants…

"So do you. You ready for today?" Then I noticed Sean walking out of the bedroom in the usual jeans, t-shirt, and gray beanie. "Hey" I said to him.

"I'm ready as I'll ever be. Come on lets get out of here before we're late." I looked at the clock and saw school didn't get started for another twenty minutes. I gave Ellie a questioning look before she rolled her eyes and said "We don't have a ride to school anymore." Oh right, I had forgotten about that.

"Alright then let's go." I grabbed my book bag off the floor and walked out the door, on the way out Sean stopped me for a second.

"About what Jay said last night. That was really harsh and I'm sorry." I know that Sean wasn't the apology type guys and it meant a lot that he would say that to me especially since Jay was his best friend.

"thanks." The walk to the school was mainly silent and when we got there we were a little early so I went to my locker to get some of my books out. While I was standing there I heard the doors fly open and when I saw who it was my mouth dropped. Walking towards me was Jay…with his arm around Emma and Towerz on his side. I can not believe him.

"Hey Alex looks like you need to lose a little weight." Emma looked at the guys then back at me and they all started laughing.

"Yea Alex you are getting a little chunky" I can not fucking believe Jay. That was nothing but a low blow…that was worse then what he said last night.

"Wow those are all such nice comments but since I'm pregnant I have a reason to be getting bigger. So shut your faces and Jay I hope you have fun with your skank." I started to walk away and Emma grabbed my arm. I looked at her and she stepped backwards. "Don't you ever touch me. You may think your hot shit because you can get a guy, but the truth is the only reason they want to be with you is because your easy." I didn't wait for a response but instead walked into my first period class.

I wasn't going to cry over him…but I can't believe him. Not even a fucking day later he's with her…I can't take this…how was I suppose to be able to go through a basically the whole day with him in all my classes? I still can't believe he told me I'm getting chunky…he fucking knows I'm pregnant…I really can't take this anymore…

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Alright I know its turning into an Emjay but there is a reason behind it so don't worry…I promise…alright now go review…

Taryn


	21. Autumns Monologue

Hey guys…you can thank Amanda for getting me to update tonight lol. But I hope this chapter is alright…its not my best but hey its something…oh yea and the song in this chapter is "Autumn's Monologue" by From Autumn to Ashes…hope you enjoy…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point of View)

Jay didn't really say anything to me during shop and I didn't try to talk to him. At lunch I just walked in the ravine by myself thinking. The only thing I have left is this baby…if anything happened to it I don't know what I'd do. I think that in two months I'll be able to find out the sex so we won't call it, 'it' any more, but instead an actual name. Now that I look at it I truly am in this alone. Emma and Jay are going through her pregnancy together, Ellie has Sean, and I have no one. As I was walking back to the school I saw Jay and Emma again.

"Well if it isn't Alex. What's the matter? You not eating because you don't want to get fatter?" She gave me this little smirk that I just wanted to smack off of her face.

"Like I told you earlier I'm pregnant. So take your stupid shit and shove it up your ass" I tried to walk around them but they stood in my way and wouldn't let me through.

"And let me guess you don't eve know who the father is then. Jay told me the truth. He told me all about how you just slept with some guy and then blamed the kid on Jay, How pathetic is that" I took a deep breath before I did something I would regret…

"No actually it was a guy that I really loved and cared about, and I thought it felt the same way. But it doesn't matter anymore he's dead to me and our baby." I stared right at Jay when I said it and he still looked at me, his face unchanging, the same emotionless eyes. I'm beginning to think that he never did care about me. "Now would you move your asses. I have to get to class" I pushed threw them and left, I turned around once and when I did I saw them making out. I started to walk faster trying to push the picture of them out of my head.

I missed the old days…back in grade 8 when me and Jay basically ruled the school. I had everything back then, friends, money, my mom wasn't married to an abusive jackass, but most of all I had Jay. All those nights together now seem like nothing but a long gone memory.

"Hello? Earth to Alex." I didn't even notice until then that Marco had his hand in front of my face trying to get my attention. "Okay now that I have your attention after school there's a meeting for student council. Can you be there?"

"yea I can make it." I watched as he walked off and I went into my class. Study Hall…the greatest class to sleep through. When I got in there I was a little early and no one else was in there so I took my usual seat and laid my head down. The teacher never really did care about what we did in there, as long as we didn't make that much noise she was happy.

Forty minutes later I was unfortunately awoken by the bell and I had to go to Applied Music, which is where I was suppose to teach myself how to play the piano and the teacher just watched us and made sure we were working. It wasn't to hard and I was actually really enjoying playing. As I started to play a song that I had been trying to learn I sang along with the tune…

_Oh why can't I be what you need?_

_a new improved version of me_

_But I'm nothing so good, no I'm nothing _

_Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs _

_Of violence of love and of sorrow _

_I beg for just one more tomorrow _

_Where you hold me down, fold me in _

_Deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins_

_I break in two over you, oh, _

_I break in two, and each piece of me dies _

_And only you can give the breath of life _

_But you don't see me, you don't_

I started to cry again. But I still sang.

_Here I'm in between darkness and light _

_Bleached and blinded by these nights_

_Where I'm tossing and tortured till dawn _

_I view visions of you, then you're gone _

_The shock bleeds the red from my face _

_When I hear someone has taken my place _

_How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel? _

_When all, all that I did was for you _

_I break in two over you, oh, _

_I break in two, and each piece of me dies _

_And only you can give the breath of life _

_But you don't see me, you don't _

I was all out bawling by the end of it. I ran out of the room as fast as I could and into the bathroom. Once I was in a stall I brought my knees to my chest and just sat there. I heard the bell ring that signaled the day to be over so I walked back into the music room to get my stuff, I was about to head home when I remembered I had a meeting to attend to. Hopefully it wouldn't take long since I wanted to just get home and sleep. I got to the auditorium, where the meetings are usually held, and went to sit on the stage. It looked like Marco and a few others were here already.

"Alex are you okay? Have you been crying?" Marco was possibly one of the sweetest guys that I knew. He always cared about everyone else. "Look I can handle this meeting you go back home and have some rest. I'll fill you in tomorrow." I gave him a quick hug and did what he said, I went back to the house and as soon as I laid down on that couch I was out. When I woke up I realized that I was suppose to be at work ten minutes ago. I ran out and down to the bus station where I would catch the soonest bus and hopefully not be to late. Thank god I got there just in time and was able to get to the mall in about ten minutes.

"Alex you're late" I looked at Merri's eyes and silently pleaded that she wouldn't fire me. "it's alright just get to work" She was such an awesome boss. I had told her about what was going on in my life and she would let me slide with stuff like this. I put on my work shirt and started…I worked until 11:30…which meant I had 5 hours to go. Like usual once the 7 o'clock movie started we had about an hour before the next wave so I just sat at a table and rested. Being pregnant really tired me out. The rest of the night went pretty well…except at one point I saw Emma and Jay walk up to the counter but I let Paige get their orders.

**(Two Months Later)**

Emma claimed she had a miscarriage, None of my clothes fit, I feel fat, Jay was still with Emma, and I was lonelier than ever. Being five months pregnant sucks. But the good part about today was I was going to find out what my little baby was going to be. Whether it was a little boy or girl I was going to be happy. When I got to the doctors office I was a little late so he just took me right in.

"Where's your boyfriend, Jay was it?" I had gotten used to the fact that he no longer wanted to be with me so whenever people asked I didn't want to burst out in tears.

"Actually we…broke up. He's with some other girl now"

"Oh that's too bad. Anyway are we ready to take a look and see how the baby's doing?" I nodded my head anxiously. He quickly put the gel on my stomach and used the head thing to go over it and I looked at the screen to see my baby. "Now do you want to know the sex of the baby?" I nodded again. "Well Alex I'm happy to tell you that your having a little girl" Silently I had been hoping since the beginning that it was a girl but now that I know what it is I'm overjoyed. "It looks like she's doing good. Congratulations" Dr. Houston took the thing off and gave me a towel to wipe off the gel. When I was done she told me that, that was all and I could come back within one to two months.

"Thank you" I climbed down and walked out. On the way back to the house I stopped at a book store and picked up a book of baby names. I was flipping through it the whole way home and I found a few names that I liked but I think that the name I came up with from the beginning is still the best. When I walked into the house I saw two people I thought I'd never see in my house…ever…

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And there it is…let me know what you think…

Taryn


	22. Honestly

Hey guys…this might be my last update till next week because I'm probably not going to be home most of this weekend. The song in this chapter is "Honestly" by Bethany Joy Lenz…I'm sorry if this chapter sucks…I've been having some trouble with it lately…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Alex's Point of View)

What the hell were Emma and Jay doing sitting in my living room. That bitch was probably to scared to bring his car around here ever since me and Ellie hid it (two weeks after we did Ellie gave in and told Sean who told Jay where to find it). Emma was sitting on Jay's lap and they were basically making out. Ellie gave me a sympathetic look which told me that it wasn't here idea to have them over.

"Hey Alex. Did you find out what the baby is going to be?" I knew Ellie couldn't wait to hear what I was having ever since she found out she was having a boy.

"Yea it's going to be a girl. I was thinking about telling her dad but he's to much of a jackass to care anyway." I wouldn't take my eyes off of Ellie because that would mean I would look at them and I didn't want to see what they were doing.

"Well now look at that. The world will have another little slut like Alex when it's born so all the boys can go have fun with her." I took a deep breath. I wasn't going to get worked up over this little bitch.

"Go fuck yourself Emma. I'll be in the kitchen." I heard her shout something out that sounded like 'that's okay that's what I've got Jay for' Stupid bitch. I looked over at the keyboard that was situated in the corner with music sitting on top, Ellie and Sean had bought it for me for my birthday a month ago. Before they got me that I spent every single day after school in the music room playing…it helped me keep my mind off things that would bug me or cause me to get worked up. I took my seat in front of it and ran my fingers over the keys, this was the one thing that kept me sane. Once I found the right place I needed I began to play and sing a song that I had been working on...from what I had come up with so far I loved this song and it meant a lot to me.

_Honestly I didn't mean to cry so hard the heartache was pouring in like rain_

_I didn't mean to show I care_

_Honestly I didn't mean to laugh so loud but it just sounds _

_so absurd to say that you want me_

_Say that you need me after everything you've done_

_Really truly I didn't mean to hurt you I just thought that maybe now_

_We'd have better luck the second time around_

_Its always better the second time I hear_

_Find me in the evening when your ready to dance_

_And I will take you to places_

_Where you never thought you'd have the chance to love_

_Love_

_Love is all we have_

_I will run myself in circles here without you_

_Please believe that I tried my best to forget you _

_But the memories keep flooding back like tears_

_I didn't mean to fall in love_

_But sitting here waiting for this is torture_

_I'm so glad you're far away_

_Is that a terrible thing to say?_

When I was done I could hear screaming coming from the other room…who could that be?

"Don't you dare talk about my best friend like that. You don't know anything about the things that have happened to her in the past so you can't say shit. Do you know who got her pregnant? Huh Emma? YOU FUCKING BOYFRIEND! So don't you ever say a single word about her. You're not even good enough to say her name." I don't think I've ever heard Ellie scream so much. "Get the hell out of my house. And don't you ever think about coming back either."

"Ellie calm down" Sean was going to pay hell tonight for bringing them here. "El, come on just go into the kitchen and chill out. you shouldn't be getting worked up it's not good for either of you." I watched as a very pissed looking Ellie threw the door to the kitchen open and stomped in.

"She said that we were nothing but sluts who slept with guys and got pregnant so we could force them to stay with us because we know that no one else would want us." I didn't give a shit if Emma talked about me but I wasn't going to let her come in here and talk about a friend of mine. I walked into the living room, Jay and Emma were about to walk out of the house. But I grabbed Emma's arm and turned her towards me, I swung at her the hardest I think I've ever swung at anyway and my fist came in contact with her jaw. She went flying backwards and once she regained her composure she started to come after me but Jay grabbed her and dragged her out.

"Alex!" Ellie didn't look to happy with me…"You can't do that, you have the baby to worry about. I know how you feel though I wanted to hit her too. And you" she turned to Sean who just looked away. "what the hell were you thinking when you brought them over to our house? You know what happened with him and Alex…"

"yea well maybe if Alex got her own place we wouldn't have to worry about this happening again" I knew that lately Sean had hated having me living there but I didn't think that he would tell me to get my own place…I don't even know where I would go.

"I'll just get out of your way then" I grabbed my jacket and walked out of the house. I heard Ellie call my name but I ignored her and kept walking. I wish I had somewhere to go…at Ellie's I feel like I'm imposing on her and Sean. But there's not many other places I could go. And here I am yet again, like a couple months ago, sitting on the school steps crying my eyes out. I wish I could go back to two months ago. I wouldn't have freaked out on Jay about the whole Emma thing but I couldn't help it I was a moody, teenage pregnant girl…and I let that get the best of me. I realize now that Emma was probably lying about the whole pregnancy thing just so she could split me and Jay up.

"Why is it that whenever something good starts to happen in my life something else has to come along and ruin it?" I wiped at the tears falling from my eyes but it didn't help. "Great and now I'm talking to myself." The rustling leaves and the blowing wind caught my attention and for a second I thought that I saw someone in the shadows. But when I looked behind me I saw a very familiar figure coming towards me. "What are you doing here?" I simply asked, not in a rude way but just as a simple question.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing" he still looked at me with his icy blue eyes but he took a seat next to me which I wasn't expecting him to do. "I've got nothing better to do and I was just in a thinking mood. How about you?"

"You mean your actually talking to me and not calling me fat or a slut?" His eyes softened a little and I could tell that he did feel bad for all of that. "you know I don't care what other people think about me or say. But the fact that it was you was what hurt." He gave me a questioning look and I didn't want to explain it further. "Whatever it's not like you care anyway."

"You still never answered my question" I always wondered how he could do that, he could just ignore what someone said because he didn't want to answer it. So he would switch subjects…

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Again I am so sorry if this chapter sucks…but even if you think it does leave me a review and tell me how to make it better…please?

Taryn


	23. Freeze to death?

I know I said that I probably wasn't going to be able to update this weekend but I had the urge to write tonight and this was the result…I'm sorry if it sucks…now after you read this go read The Accident…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Jay's Point of View)

The last couple of months have been horrible. I can't believe I'm with Emma…she's so annoying…but yet I've been with her for two months. I don't even know why I'm still with her. She pales in comparison to Alex, but I'm still with her. I even made fun of Alex with her. And as Alex was sitting in front of me I realized how broken she really was, in front of everyone she put up a front that she was okay and she was tough but inside she really wasn't. She didn't deserve any of this…and it was all my fault. Somehow I always find a way to mess things up.

I can still remember that night when she accused me of sleeping with Emma and getting her pregnant like it was yesterday. She told me she didn't need or want me…so I left. I wish that I wouldn't have. I wish I would have told her that I loved her _not_ Emma. Some days after school I would sit outside the music room and listen to her sing. She had one of the best voices I think I've ever heard. I even heard her singing earlier…I didn't say anything when Emma was making fun of her singing. I was to lost in Alex's voice to listen to her. Emma was a complete bitch, she thought that she was better than everyone else. Sure she was good in bed but that's about all we did. We never talked about anything, and even if we did all it was, was her complaining about stupid shit for hours on end.

"Nothing…Sean doesn't like me living there with him and Ellie. And tonight he decided to let me know that he wants me to move out. So I came here to think" I had been so lost in thought that I had completely forgotten that I had asked her a question. "look I have to go. I've got to go find a place for me and Layla to sleep tonight"

"Layla?"

"that's what I'm planning on naming my daughter" …Layla… "Alright Jay nice chat but I'll see you around."

"Stay with me" wait that wasn't suppose to come out but I didn't want her out there all night trying to find some place to stay. "I'm serious stay at my house…at least for tonight. It's already 11 o'clock and I highly doubt you're going to find a place to stay so just come to my house. Please?"

"What are you up to Jay? I know that you don't like having people over your house, except maybe Sean but that doesn't count. And I don't think your little bitch would like that very much." I wanted to scream at her that I didn't care about Emma, I really cared about her but I couldn't.

"Alex please I don't want you to freeze out here. Just for tonight will you stay at my house." She gave me a look as if questioning whether or not that I was being sincere or not, which I was. When she nodded I was happy… "Come on let's go." We started to walk over to my Civic and she climbed into the front. I remember when her and Ellie hid it…I was pissed…for two whole weeks I had to walk or take the bus if I wanted to get anywhere. But I will admit that it was an extremely good idea to do. "So why the sudden change of thought? You go from calling me names and making fun of me to telling me to stay at your house. I don't get you Jay"

"Don't worry about it not many people do." I saw her shake her head and smile a little. "I'm sorry"

"For what?" I took my eyes off the road to get a good look at her. She was beautiful with her shoulder length black hair, chocolate brown eyes, and perfect complexion.

"For Emma, for making fun of you, for cheating on you to begin with, for all of that." I pulled into my driveway and noticed that my mom and dad's cars weren't there. I wonder where they went…

"Forget about it, it's in the past. It's not like you can change what you've done…" she did have a very good point there although I do wish I could.

"You can take the bed. I can sleep on the couch" She shook her head at me. "I'm not taking no for an answer so you might as well go up into my room. You can borrow a pair of my pajama pants to sleep in too if you want, you know where they're at." I watched as she walked up the stairs into my room. I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. All I wanted to do was go into my room with her and lay down on the bed and cuddle with her. I missed that…as odd as it may sound I actually do like to cuddle and so does Alex. Emma wasn't like that though, she wasn't into stuff like that, we would have sex and then she would usually just leave. But with Alex we would lay there for hours after we had sex and talk about anything.

Finally after about a maybe an hour I fell asleep and woke up the next morning at about 9 and went to go check in on Alex. She was sleeping on the bed curled up in my blankets…she looked like a sleeping angel…I decided to go get us some breakfast from McDonald's, I still worked there but not as much. I didn't let Emma know though that most of the money I was making I was putting into a bank account that was for the baby. If she ever found out I would never hear the end of it…it would be more bitching for more hours and I just couldn't take that.

(Alex's Point of View)

I thought I heard screaming but then I figured I was probably just dreaming. Suddenly the covers were yanked off me and I laid there in a pair of pajama pants that didn't feel like mine and a baggy t-shirt that also didn't feel like mine. I opened my eyes and before me stood a very angry Emma. Where the hell was I? Oh shit…all the events from last night came rushing back to me.

"What the hell do you think your doing in _my_ boyfriends bed?" I rubbed my eyes and tried to remember the exact words that Jay used last night when he told me to stay over. It was all a little fuzzy but I basically remembered it.

"Fuck off Emma" I grabbed the blankets out of her hand and curled back up on the bed. I knew that this could go on for a long time and I just wasn't in the mood for it. It's bad enough to wake me up but its even worse to take away my blankets.

"Alex you better start talking before I kick your ass." This chick really needed to get the clue that its not a good idea to bug me in the morning…especially if it's before noon. "Get your ass out of my boyfriends bed and take his fucking clothes off. Get the hell out of here" I decided I wasn't going to let this work me up, I think it would be fun to mess with her.

"I know you probably want to see me take Jay's clothes off but I think I'm good. You can leave but I'm pretty comfortable" I heard her start to huff and puff but it just made this even more entertaining to me. "okay now if you're done with your little hissy fit then I'm going back to sleep." Where the hell was Jay at? If I had known that this was what he had in mind when he asked me to stay over I would have rather frozen to death.

"Move your slutty ass and get the hell out of here. No one wants to see your fat ass naked anyway" I heard the door close from downstairs and I figured that Jay must have left for a little while. "I hope when your bastard baby is born it fucking dies." Okay now I'm pissed. No one, and I mean no one, is going to say shit about my baby. Jay appeared in the door way, I looked at him and shook my head.

"what's up?" he looked like he had no idea what was going on but I knew that he had to have. I completely ignored his question and looked straight at Emma.

"first of all bitch my baby isn't a bastard, second of all don't you ever,_ ever _say anything about her, and thirdly who the fuck do you think you are? You think you're so much better than me? Well you need to get it through your thick head: No one gives two shits about you, You're nothing more than a stuck up, rich bitch." Jay's eyes looked wide and I remembered that I had something to say to him too. "Fuck you Jay. I would have rather frozen to death last night outside then have to put up with your bitch. I'm out of here" I grabbed my clothes off the floor and walked out the door. I was half way down the stairs when I heard someone call me.

"Alex wait!" I turned around and Jay was standing outside of his door. "I'm sorry okay? I didn't know that she was going to come here. Alex please…" I kept walking and left his house. And here I was...walking back to a house where I wasn't wanted in my ex-boyfriend pajamas. Now isn't this just dandy…god damn it. I knew Emma was a bitch but to tell me that she hoped my baby died? That was more than harsh…what the hell did my baby ever do to her?

It was then that I realized who I needed to go see. I went to a payphone and called a taxi, I waited for a few minutes and one pulled up to where I was. Quickly I told them the address and we made the ten minute drive. That was possibly one of the most nerve wracking things ever…just sitting there waiting. When we finally pulled up in front of the house I realized that it looked the same. I paid the driver and I walked to the door, I knocked and prayed that he wouldn't be home. It was almost like time was moving in slow motion as I watched the door swing open.

"Mom…" She ran forward and embraced me in a hug. I hadn't seen her in about three months and it felt so good to hug her. I could still smell the same perfume that she used…god I missed having her around…

"Alex you're okay…Chad told me you came home one day and just packed all your stuff and left." That fucking bastard…

"no mom…he told me to leave because he found the pregnancy test."

"What…"

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blah…blah…blah…now go review…please? 


	24. Save Me

Hey guys…heres the next chapter…I'm sorry to say that I think the next one willbe the last. But there will be two different sequels. I should have the chapter up by tomorrow…depending on how lazy I'm feeling…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Jay's Point of View)

"Emma!" I was pissed off. Who was Emma to say that shit about Alex and kick her out of my house? "Why did you say that to her?" I leaned against the wall in my room trying to keep my anger level down.

"What was she doing here to begin with?" For some reason I started to remember something that happened back in grade 9…

_(Flash Back)_

"Why is she here Jay!" She was referring to Mallory, who was always a close friend of mine. Mallory was sleeping on my bed, the night before she had to come to me beaten up and bloody because her father had raped her. I had cleaned her up and let her stay the night. .

"Alex relax okay? I can't tell you why she's here, you just have to trust me when I tell you that I didn't do anything with her." I had hoped that Alex would trust me, but a tiny part of me still thought that she doubted what I was saying and that I might lose her.

"I do Jay. I trust you" I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close. She kissed my cheek and we stayed like that for a few moments. .

_(End Flash Back)_

I blinked my eyes a few times trying to forget that memory. "She needed a place to stay so I told her she could star here. God Emma why do you have to be such a bitch to her? You have no idea of the things she's gone through." I ran my fingers through my hair. I wish I would have chased after Alex. I wish I had never let her slip away.

"I'm sorry Jay. I just don't want to lose you. Especially to that slut. She walked over to my spot against the wall, she hugged me and I had wished that it wasn't her. She didn't feel the same in my arms as Alex did.

"Don't call her a slut!" for some reason when Emma said that it just pissed me off. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell at you. Let's just not talk about her." I started to kiss her only because I was trying to forget about Alex. Our tongues darted in out of the others mouth, one trying to dominate the other. We made our way to the bed, where I pulled her shirt over top of her head and started to kiss my way down. But she didn't want that, she forced me down and climbed on top. The next thing I know my clothes are off and we're having sex. It didn't last long though and then she was gone like usual. I was left alone again…

(Alex's Point of View)

"He found my pregnancy test. He told me I was a slut and to get out. Then he……he slapped me" I had missed my mom so much since I had moved out and it felt so good to talk to her again. "Mom I need your help."

"Alex, baby what happened?

"Me and Jay were going good but a girl told me that he got her pregnant. Then I accused him of doing it and we got into a huge fight. The next day he was with that girl and they've been together now for a couple of months. All they ever do is call me fat, slut, and bitch. Last night so told me that I should get my own place and Jay let me stay at his house for the night. She came in the morning yelling at me and then she told me that she hoped my baby died. Am I such a horrible person that someone would wish that on my baby? I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, mom wiped them away and help me close.

"Its okay honey whoever this girl is was just jealous of what you and Jay had. And as far as he's concerned, he lost an amazing girl." She led me into the kitchen where she made me a sandwich. Which of course I ate…when have you ever heard of a pregnant chick turning down food? We spent the whole afternoon talking about everything. But around 5 she told me I had better leave because Chad was due back and she didn't want me to have to deal with him. "I love you Alex"

"I love you to mom. I'll see you next Saturday then." We had made plans so every Saturday I would go and see her when Chad was working, that way I could keep her posted on everything going on. As I was walking out I realized that I was still in Jay's clothes so I went to the closest place with a bathroom and changed, it was unfortunately a McDonald's. When I walked out I noticed Jay was wiping off some of the tables. I quickly walked over to him and threw his clothes at him. "Thanks for letting me stay last night. I really appreciate it."

"No problem…Alex I hate us being like this. Can't we at least be friends?" I just sort of stared at him for a minute thinking it over. Was it worth it to just be friends with him? Would it hurt too much?

"Yea…sure. I had better go but I'll see you in school on Monday Jay." I walked out feeling a little bit better. If I couldn't have him as a boyfriend then a friend was better than nothing. That night I spent the night at my old friend Dani's house. The next day I picked up my clothes from Ellie's house and I usually slept anywhere I could find, sometimes friend's houses, sometimes in parks, I slept anywhere I could find.

**(Two months later)**

It was two months ago I started talking to my mom again; we met every Saturday like we said we would. Chad still hadn't found out about it (thank god). Jay and me have become really good friends and he's still with Emma. I talk to Ellie and Sean still. They don't know about me staying anywhere that I could find, I knew if Ellie found out she would probably force me back into staying with them. Ellie was about 8 months along in her pregnancy and I was 7. We were both pretty big and had trouble getting around sometimes but I loved being pregnant. Emma still hated my guts and I still didn't care.

"Hey" I said to Jay as I walked up the steps to DCS like usual. It was a pretty nice April day out. "What's up?"

"Nothing really. Just waiting for Emma to get here. How are you feeling?" He would always ask me how I was and make sure that everything was going okay. Even though we weren't together he was still awesome to me. We were interrupted by a skinny blond girl running up and jumping on Jay. I walked away before I could see the two make out. She would always do it whenever I was around just to piss me off. I went to the bathroom, I swear this kid was playing soccer with my bladder all day long. I had to go pee at least 20 times a day…and let's just say it's not very fun. After I went there I went to my locker where I heard two people that sounded like Jay and Emma.

"Listen Em, I'm sorry but this isn't working out" he's breaking up with her?

"Why not Jay? Is it because there's someone else?"

"Maybe it is. But even if it's not this just doesn't feel right to me anymore." Before I could hear anything else I walked away and into my first period class. Secretly I hoped that they would break up…I know it was mean of me to think that but it was the truth. After first period on my way to second Emma came up to me.

"You did this you fucking bitch!" I started to walk away but Emma grabbed my arm and turned me around. I rolled my eyes and that looked like it made her more pissed. "Don't you fucking turn your back to me. You're the reason that Jay broke up with me"

"Don't blame me because you can't keep a man Green Peace" Yet again I turned to walk away but she did the same thing except this time she punched me in my jaw. I couldn't really do much since I was big from being pregnant so I slapped her and punched her the hardest I could. But since that wasn't very effective we turned to shoving. I slammed her back into a locker and she pushed me backwards and did the same to me. We went back and forth for a little while when she turned me around and slammed my stomach into a locker. I had a searing pain in my stomach and I knew right then and there that I was going into labor. Emma ran away before anyone could catch her and I was left on the hallway floor holding my stomach.

I couldn't give birth…not now…I was still suppose to be pregnant for three more months. What if something happens to the baby? Those were the only thoughts going through my mind when I felt Sean by my side telling me everything would be okay. Who would have thought that it would have been him telling me that?

"Alex it's gonna be okay. Is the baby okay? Are you okay?"

"No Sean…the baby's coming now. Go get Ellie and Jay" I watched as he ran off and I was left there, everyone had gone to their classes and I was alone in the hallway. Ellie came running to me and pulled me off the ground, she helped me out to Jay's car where she laid me down in the back seat. The pain was so great in my stomach that I started to black out and come back.

"Alex please you have to be okay. Where the hell is Jay at?" I heard Ellie mutter to herself, she was sitting in the front seat looking back at me laying there. I felt so helpless…I felt that it was all my fault that I was going into labor at 7 months pregnant. I couldn't open my eyes anymore but I heard voices.

"What the hell happened to her Sean?" it sounded like Jay…

"All I saw was Emma shove her into a locker and her fall to the ground clutching her stomach. I knew that something was wrong when she didn't move…I hope she'll be okay."

"God damn it…Emma probably blamed Alex for me breaking up with her." Then I heard nothing. The next thing I know I'm in a hospital bed and they're telling me that I need to push. I fully opened my eyes and saw Jay on one side of me, holding my hand, telling me that I need to push a little more and our baby will be out. With everything I had in me I pushed, it felt like a weight was being pulled off me as I felt the baby being laid on my stomach.

"I love you Jay. I love you and little Layla" Then I was again enveloped in the darkness…

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…and there it is…let me know what you think…

Taryn


	25. Close Your Eyes

Hey guys…I know this chapter is short but it's also the last…I should have two different sequels up in a few days…and to Lychee Arika and Miki you have the baby at the end of the ninth month and Alex is at the beginning on her seventh so I counted it as basically three months…

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…

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(Jay's Point of View)

Alex was having the baby…she was really having our baby…I was going to strangle Emma the next time I saw her. Alex looked like she was in so much pain and I couldn't even do anything to help ease it…I felt so helpless. When Layla came out she was beautiful, she had dark hair like her mom and she was so tiny. She looked like she could fit in the palm of my hand. Right after Alex had finally been able to push Layla out she told me that she loved me…

"I love you to Lexxi" and then I heard the machines that she was hooked up to start beeping and Alex looked like she blacked out. Suddenly I was being pushed out of the room and one of the nurses took Layla away. What was happening? Was Alex okay? Was it Layla? What went wrong? I walked into the waiting room where Ellie and Season were sitting, waiting for the news on the baby and Alex.

"Jay what happened?" Ellie was immediately at my sides asking question but I just shrugged and stared at the ground. "Jay, Is she okay?"

"I don't know El, I honestly don't know" I collapsed into a nearby chair and wiped at my cheeks, but the tears were still there. What if something happened to them? I couldn't lose Alex let alone my daughter…

(Ellie's Point of View)

Why were the doctors taking so long? Was there something wrong? Jay looked like he was about to start sobbing any moment and I wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay and that nothing was going to happen but part of me wasn't sure that everything would turn out okay. It's been about a half and hour since Jay has been out here and we were sitting in complete silence. None of us know what to say to each other. I was farther along then Alex…she shouldn't have gone into labor.

What the hell was she thinking, getting into a fight with Emma? I don't know what I'll do if something happens to her…she's like my best friend, ever since Ash stopped talking to me once she found out that I was pregnant. Of all people why does it have to be Alex? she is such an amazing person once you get to know her and now she's in here…I just don't get why it had to be her? Why couldn't this have happened to me? I wouldn't have been in as much danger if it was me…but why her?

(Sean's Point of View)

Now that I look back I feel horrible for basically telling Alex to leave mine and Ellie's house. I know that I was never really that nice to her but it was just the relationship that we had…we had always acted like we hated each other and we had our little arguments but she was like a sister to me. Jay must be going through hell right now. He really does love her and I know that she loves him. That's why Emma was so pissed off…you can see in Jay's eyes that he doesn't love Emma the way he loves Alex and it just made her so jealous that she wanted revenge on Alex or something.

I never thought I would see the day that Jay would cry but now as he was before me I wished that I could help him…I put my hand on his shoulder to let him know that I was there for him…the hospital seemed like such an uninviting place…and it made me feel so unwelcome, with the older nurses giving Ellie dirty looks and the doctors rushing by trying to get to their patients.

(Jay's Point of View)

I had been sitting still for too long so I decided to go for a walk around and try to take my mind off Alex and Layla. Except it wasn't working so well…why did Emma have to go after Alex? and my little daughter? As I was walking around the halls I saw all the happy families sitting in their rooms with their new little babies and I felt jealous. I wanted that to be me and Alex…I didn't want it to be me outside waiting to here news of what's going on and her in there with them doing god knows what. I was so frustrated I ended up punching the wall and the nurse came out and yelled at me. But instead of standing there and listening to what she had to say I just walked away. I got a cup of coffee and decided to go back and see what Sean and Ellie were doing. The walk around hadn't really helped anything and I had only been gone for maybe 15 minutes…the doctors still hadn't said anything…it's been almost an hour and I'm going crazy. What the hell was going on in there…and then he came out…Dr. Houston came over to where me and Ellie were…

"Jay?" he asked as he looked between me and Sean. I lifted my head a little to let him know that I was Jay. "Jay we have some news on Alex and your daughter…" he looked at me with an emotionless mask that I guess he had to use and I didn't know what to expect…good or bad news…

**The End**

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Alright guys that's it for this fic…make sure to look for the sequels…and thanks to everyone that reviews…I appreciate it…

Taryn


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